


All the Strings Attached

by Queenie_004



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Mild Kink, Mutual Pining, Oh and Shawn Mendes, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 21:49:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20034394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: Lara Jean Covey is a college senior focused on her thesis and post-grad plans with no room for distractions of the cute boy variety.Then she wanders into a stranger's room and meets Peter Kavinsky, a very cute boy.Getting through senior year distraction free is going to be a problem.





	1. Meet cute

He gets back to his room after a shower and there is a girl standing inside just staring at a poster on his wall. He doesn’t recognize her and has no idea what she’s doing in there.

“Hey” he says as he enters, she spins around suddenly and her eyes get big as she takes him in and he bites back a laugh at how quickly she adjusts her expression to make sure she fixes her eyes above his neck.

“Sorry, is this your girlfriend’s room?” she asks.

“Uh no, it’s mine.”

“Oh. Are you…gay?”

He chuckles, “you know you ask some extremely personal questions for someone who invaded my room and hasn’t even introduced herself.”

She steals another glance around his space – the desk piled with homework he needs to get to, his lacrosse gear, the laundry basket with his gym clothes he peeled off right before he went to shower and left his door wide open for anyone to wander in.

“This is your room” she says slowly as she brings her attention back to him, “I thought a girl lived here, because…” she points at the poster on the wall she was staring at moments ago.

He runs a towel over his hair and tosses it on his bed behind her.

“OK, let’s start again,” he steps towards her and holds out his hand, “I’m Peter and this is my room. I’m single and I’m straight, and you are…?”

She shakes his hand, “Lara Jean” she pauses, “Covey.”

“Hi, Lara Jean” he mimics her pause, “Covey. Nice to meet you.”

She keeps shaking his hand, “hi” and then looks back at his wall, “why do you have a poster of Shawn Mendes on your wall?”

“Ah OK, we’re not done with the questions,” he releases her hand and moves around her to get to his dresser. “Can I ask some before we get back to your interrogation?” It has not escaped his notice that she is cute with dark hair piled into a messy bun on the top of her head and pretty bow lips.

She nods, “I suppose.” She puts her hands on her hips and that makes him take notice of her figure and now it’s his turn to keep his eyes up and not on the curve of her breasts or the small tantalizing strip of bare skin above her sweatpants.

“Look I’m totally not opposed to finding a beautiful woman in my room but usually I know her or even _invited_ her.” He turns back to her with a grin and she’s got a little smile at the corner of her mouth.

“Do you invite a lot of women to your room to admire your Shawn Mendes poster?”

“Ooh! You’re feisty, I like that, Covey. I can’t say I do but hey – apparently all I need to do is leave my door open and they just come to me.”

She’s wandered over to his desk and is peering down at it, “what’s your major?” she asks but he just shakes his head.

“Whoa whoa whoa” he pulls out two t-shirts, “I still haven’t asked you a question!”

She’s flipping through his chemistry book, “Well, ask me a question then!”

He holds up the shirts in each hand, “blue or green?”

She laughs then, a bright sparkly sound and moves closer to him. She touches the fabric of one and looks up at him squinting, “definitely the green. Compliments your eyes.”

He nods and pulls the shirt over his head and says, “next question, do you live here?”

“Yes, second floor. I was returning notes to Riley across the hall and I noticed this” she gestures to the poster. “I’m a fan so I kind of couldn’t help myself.”

“A fan? Why thank you, I had no idea” he smirks at her and she rolls her eyes at him.

“Seriously Peter, why do you have this poster? Are you a fan?”

“I’d love to answer that, but I’m actually supposed to be at a study group in about five minutes, and I’m still in a towel” he gestures down, and she blushes. And oh, how he likes how that looks on her.

“Right, sorry” she starts backing away, “I’ll go and let you get dressed and I’m sorry to just walk into your room like that.” She turns towards his door.

“I’m not done with my questions you know.” He calls after her and she stops and turns back.

“You’re not?”

“If you come back and let me ask you some more, I’ll tell you why I have that poster.”

“OK”

“OK?”

“See you later, Peter” she spins back to the door and departs, and he follows and watches her head towards the stairs. Closing his door, he finishes getting dressed and grabs his phone to text his friend Patrick on the second floor to see what he knows about Lara Jean Covey.

* * *

When the door to the stairway shuts behind her she leans against it and swallows hard. _What was that?? _She murmurs to herself because the last five minutes seem like some sort of meet-cute from one of her romcoms, _she wandered into the wrong room and met the love of her life. _She shakes her head as if to throw out the thought. He’s just a guy who lives in her dorm who is cute and flirty and charming. But _so_ cute and flirty and charming. And available. And not gay. Her every thought from the minute he’d walked in had been utterly inappropriate – like how much she wanted to run her hands over his chest and down along his abs – good lord, _his abs_ he had the body of an underwear model! And that she kept eyeing the towel knotted at his hips, the thought coming straight from her lizard brain, _what if his towel comes undone? _And all that was heady enough but then she got a close look at his eyes and they were gorgeous dark pools specked with gold she thought about kissing him just so she could get closer to looking in his eyes.

She heads downstairs and knocks on her friend Lucas’ door. “Do you have any wine?” she asks as soon as he opens it.

“Wine? On a school night? Whatever are we celebrating?” He ushers her in.

“I just met a boy on the third floor.”

“Ooohhh!” Lucas hands her a glass, “that is reason to celebrate!” Lara Jean takes such a big gulp that he chuckles, “did you make out with this boy? ‘Cause you’re looking kinda hot and bothered!”

Shaking her head Lara Jean flops on his bed “ohmigod in what universe is that even an option??”

Lucas sits next to her and tips his glass against Lara Jean’s with a clink, “why is it not an option in this universe?”

“Because I have a thesis to write this semester and a million books to read for it and a post-grad fellowship to apply to. I can’t be distracted by boys! Even ones that are gorgeous – tall and funny and smell good, like _really good_.” She’s rambling like she’s already had too much wine.

Lucas looks at her with eyebrows raised, “what on earth happened up there?”

Lara Jean squeezes her eyes shut, “I’m not even sure.”

* * *

She opens the door after the third knock and she’s even cuter than he remembered.

“Hi Covey.”

She wrinkles her nose and he’s already feeling like he’s kind of a dead man. “How did you find me?”

He shrugs, “I asked around if anyone knew a pretty Asian American girl who liked walking into stranger’s rooms and giving them the third degree.”

“It was barely a third degree, maybe a second”

“It was at least half a dozen questions in less than five minutes. And I was only in a towel for it” He grins as he looks past her into her room and tilts his chin up, “can I come in?”

She moves out of the way and watches him looking around her room, “do you want a tour?” she says with a smile and he laughs.

“It’s why I’m here!”

She moves from behind him and her arm brushes his and yeah, he’s a dead man walking because it felt ridiculously good for something that was barely a touch.

“That’s my desk, that’s my bed” she’s pointing things out as she turns around, “that’s my clothes that I need to put away and never seem to, and that’s my thesis.” She gestures to a massive stack of books on her floor, “well, going to be my thesis. Hopefully.”

He raises his hand, “Yes, do you have a question Peter?”

“I do actually, what kind of self-respecting Shawn Mendes fan doesn’t even have a poster of him on her wall?”

“How do you know I don’t have his face on my pillowcase?” she crosses her arms and cocks her head.

“OK see now I need to know if that is true or not” and he walks past her making sure to repeat the touching of their arms and heads to her bed where he pulls back the cover of her comforter and blows out a breath, “this is disappointing Lara Jean. Never trust a woman who lies about her bedding.”

She’s come to stand next to him and he looks over at her and drops the comforter corner. They stand silently for a moment both staring at her bed and he cannot be the only one who feels a heated buzz of tension between them.

“I suppose now you’ll want to go back to the third floor where you can enjoy your very own Shawn Mendes poster” she sighs and then she turns and sits on her bed. When she looks up at him he feels his breath catch in his throat. He wants to kiss her – very badly. She is so pretty and fun and incredibly sexy and he just met her less than 24 hours ago, but he wants to climb into her cozy bed and pull her on top of him to kiss her until they are out of breath.

“Peter?” her voice draws him back and he nods. “You want to sit?” she pats the spot next to her, so he sits down and suddenly feels awkward, like he’s too big to be on her bed, like he’s out of place next to her petite body. “So…you found me.” She says slowly and he nods.

“What’s your thesis about?” he blurts because he feels a little unsteady and needs a safe topic to focus on for a few minutes.

“It’s about romance novels representation of female agency and sexuality in relation to the audience’s relationship beliefs and ideals – I mean, there’s more to it than that, but that’s the gist.”

_Well, that’s not a safe topic at all_, “so all those are romance novels?” he gestures to the books she called her thesis.

“They are. A lot of reading to do this semester” she sighs, “I mean, I love that genre, I’ve been reading it all my life basically, but now that it’s homework it feels a little different.”

He nods, “any good dirty parts?” he elbows her lightly and she gets up and goes to the stack.

“Oh, plenty. Here” she hands him a book and sits back down.

He flips the pages and chuckles, “c’mon, give a guy a hint! Oh – hey, wait, wait here we go…_Desmond’s hungry mouth pressed demanding kisses along Alessandra’s throat as she threw her head back in ecstasy, her passionate cries further enflaming his burning desire to feast upon every inch of her body, feel her writhe under his tongue and around his fingers_…whoa!” he stops and exhales a long breath, “that escalated quickly.”

He looks over at her and she’s looking at him so intensely. He opens his mouth to say something but then her lips are on his, her hands are on his shoulders and the book falls to the floor as he grabs her face and kisses her back. She makes a moaning sound that kills him and it’s the signal he needs to put his hand on her back and pull her closer to him.

She opens her mouth and slides her hands into his hair and he’s the one making noise now as she pushes against him until he’s on his back and she skims her body up and onto his and they are not just kissing now, they are devouring each other and he is fucking thrilled about it.

Except as abruptly as she started it, she stops it – she pulls back and looks at him, her brow furrowed. “Hi there” he whispers to her and cups his hand into her hair to pull her back to his lips but she bolts up and gets off the bed.

“I can’t date you.” She announces as Peter slowly sits back up.

“You can’t?” he asks.

“I have a lot to do this semester with my thesis” she anxiously picks up the book he dropped, “and just – plans for after graduation. I can’t get distracted. You’re distracting, _very_ distracting.”

He stands up and reaches a hand towards her but she moves back. “Whoa, OK. Easy Covey. What just happened went a little fast – not that I’m complaining – but we can ease up, take a few steps back.”

“I actually have a paper I have to work on, you should go” she says turning towards her door.

He senses she maybe is about to cry and he skirts around her on his way to the door, respecting the space she’s clearly just thrown up around herself. “Just – did I do something wrong?” he asks softly with his hand on the knob. “I really didn’t intend to come down here and do – that” he gestures to the bed, “or upset you.”

“I’m not upset.” She says unconvincingly, “see you later, Peter.”

* * *

After he leaves she cannot think straight. She was surprised to see him at her door, see him in her room asking her questions and sitting on her bed. She doesn’t know what she was thinking by giving him the book. Or, she knows exactly what she was thinking and is shocked at her own manipulation of the situation – to get him to read it, knowing he’d likely find something in it that would rachet up the tension between them.

And when he did, she couldn’t _not_ kiss him. It was so arousing – he’s so sexy and the deep scratch of his voice when he read to her, his big hands cradling the book – it all made her lightheaded and hot and jumpy in her own skin and she ignored her own rules about no distractions and jumped him and it felt so insanely, dangerously good that if she hadn’t stopped it she is 99% sure they’d be half dressed in her bed by now.

When there’s a knock at her door she jumps up thinking it is him again but it’s Lucas.

“Was that him?”

“Peter?”

“Yes, Peter” he steps into her room, “the boy you met was Peter Kavinsky?”

“You know him?” she says startled.

“Honey, everyone knows him.”

“How? I didn’t know him?”

Lucas points to the book in her hand, “that’s because you’ve got your nose buried in these all the damn time.”

When she tells him what happened – about the reading he makes her find the passage again so he can read it.

“So, after you heard this from his very nice, very full lips, you jumped him, yes?” She is silent and darts her eyes from his and he’s on to her. “You saucy little minx! You just gave a red-blooded fine specimen of all-American boy the directions to your panties _and_ the keys”

She buries her face in her pillow, “this is crazy, I can’t get involved with him. He’s too much! I can’t think clearly around him!”

“You need to read less of this” he waves the book around, “and do more of what’s in it up on the third floor. With Peter Kavinsky. Think of it as primary research for this damn thesis!”


	2. That Escalated Quickly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean's plan to not get distracted by Peter is not going very well.

He leaves his door open in case she’s across the hall again. He’s worried that he misread her although he’s not sure that’s possible since she’s the one who was all over him. And he definitely doesn’t want that to be the end of whatever dance it is they are doing. If anything, the kiss just stoked his interest in her even more.

“Hi” he hears her voice and turns to see her standing in his doorway, “are you busy?”

He jumps up, “for my favorite interrogator? Never, what’s up Covey?”

She comes in and holds out a container, “I made you some brownies. I think I was kind of a bitch to you when you came to my room…”

He holds up his hand, “wait, you _made_ me brownies? Like from a box?”

She makes a disgusted face, “ew, no. From scratch. I like to bake although here it’s mostly Stress Baking.” She goes on to explain her advisor lets her go over to her house to bake as needed.

He opens the lid and takes one out and has a bite, “ohmigod” he moans, “holy shit this is amazing.” He’s dropping crumbs onto his floor like a slob and she’s smiling at him as he licks his lips.

“Anyway, I’m sorry I was – contradictory – the other day.”

“No worries” he says with a mouthful of brownie.

“I really did have a paper to write.”

“I know” he tilts the box towards her and she takes one. “I’m sorry too – if I came off as some kind of creep – with the book…”

She shakes her head hard, “I handed you the book Peter, it’s not like I didn’t think you’d find something provocative in it.”

He puts the brownies down and leaning back against his desk he asks, “So, since you’re here, you got any questions for me?”

She grins and looks a bit relieved that they are back to familiar ground. “Just one.”

“I highly doubt you’re going to stop at one but shoot.”

“What’s with the poster?”

He laughs, “I wondered when we were going to get back to that! The original question! The entire basis of our relationship!” He points at his wall and intones dramatically, “The mystery of the poster!”

“Hey, I’ve answered a lot of your questions _and_ I made you brownies” she sidles up closer to him.

“Hold up girl, I thought these were Apology Brownies not Bribery Brownies!”

“Are you ever going to answer me?” she’s right in front of him now and with his position, they are almost eye to eye and she’s got a little spark in hers.

“Is it keeping you up at night?” he asks, his voice low.

“Maybe” she murmurs.

“Am I keeping you up at night?” he watches her breath quicken and her eyes go to his lips.

“I’m not answering yours until you answer mine” she squares her shoulders and he could easily reach out a hand and wrap it around the back of her neck and pull her into a kiss. “And I think you’ve stalled long enough.”

She’s even hotter when she’s assertive and he can’t control the thought that slithers through his mind that she’d be fan-fucking-tastic in bed. “I hope you can handle the truth Covey.”

She tosses her hair over her shoulder, “time is up Kavinsky, spill.”

“My buddies put it up. They think he and my brother look alike. They call him Owen Mendes.”

“Your brother? Your brother looks like _that_?” she points at the poster and looks at him incredulously.

“I mean, I think they are exaggerating but sure, he does a bit” he pulls out his phone and scrolls through the photos until he finds one of Owen and holds it out to show her. He does not expect her to snatch it out of his hand and start moving her fingers to enlarge the picture.

“Oh my god that’s crazy” she gasps, “He really does – the hair, the jawline. Wow. He’s gorgeous.”

“Hey! That’s my _little_ brother!” he scolds and holds his hand out for his phone which she returns reluctantly.

“How old is he?”

“Control yourself Cougar, he’s only 17.”

“My little sister is 17. She’d die if she met your brother. She has a huge crush on Shawn.”

“Do all the Covey Girls have great taste in tall, incredibly handsome men with really great hair, or is that just Covey Jr.?”

She screws her face to the side like she’s deep in thought, “I don’t know about Margot – that’s my older sister. She’s not easily swayed by a pretty face.”

He blows out a laugh, “you are impossible.”

She looks at him carefully and seems ready to say something when they hear a voice from the doorway.

“Dude, let’s go get dinner I’m fucking starving. Oh, shit. I didn’t know…” it’s his friend Javier with perfectly bad timing.

Lara Jean backs away and Peter introduces them, and she takes off and after she’s gone Peter glares at Javier, “_that’s_ the girl.”

“That’s her? Did I ruin a moment?”

“Hell yes you did so now you get to buy me dinner dumbass.”

* * *

She is having dreams about him – she wakes up from them aroused and disoriented. Sometimes he’s kissing her softly and everything is sensual and romantic; other times he’s pinned her against the wall, his hand going up her dress, long fingers pushing aside her panties to tease her into a screaming release. _Am I keeping you up at night?_ His question always sounding low and yearning in her ear in the dreams.

“Explain to me again why you two aren’t fucking?” She’s in Lucas’ room drinking wine and it’s making her spill more about things with Peter than she meant to.

“You know why” she sighs.

“Honey, homework is no excuse. That boy looks like pure sex and you’re down here hiding from him behind these books. I love you LJ but also? I want to slap you right now!”

“It’s not _homework_ Lucas! It’s my thesis and I have tons of deadlines I will never meet if I’m making out with Peter Kavinsky all the time.”

Lucas rolls his eyes so dramatically at her she’s surprised he doesn’t strain his eyeballs. “You don’t have to date the boy, just _fuck him_ for goddssakes! You always make things harder than they need to be.”

“I don’t” she protests but Lucas has been her BFF since freshman year and knows her nearly as well as her sisters do. She empties her glass, “that’s not me though – just hooking up with a guy.” But she lets herself think about the kiss on her bed, the sound of his voice reading something dirty to her, the way he looked in a towel…. “Do you think he’d go for that? Something just physical?”

“You never know unless you ask. So please baby girl, before I lose my damn patience with you, go find out.”

* * *

When he gets back from practice he finds Lara Jean waiting at his door.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He says with a smile.

“Can we talk?” she asks, and he nods and leads her into his room.

Inside she shifts around nervously as he drops his gear and pushes his hair back off his face, “sorry I’m kind of a mess. Practice in the rain” he gestures to the grey outside his windows and she just nods.

“You are keeping me up at night” she blurts out, “I’m having dreams about you.”

He breaks into a grin, “what kind of dreams?”

She purses her lips, “I think you know what kind, Peter.”

He moves towards her, “Awww c’mon, tell me – maybe I’ll make them come true.” He can see her chest rising as her breath speeds up the nearer he gets.

“I dream about kissing you – about you touching me, doing…things to me and I want to know…”

He’s right in front of her now, looking down at her and when she looks up at him through her lashes a sharp breath hisses out of him. “What do you want to know, Covey?”

He hovers his hand just within reach of hers and her fingers flex as she speaks, “I want to know if you want to take this to a physical level. _Just_ physical.”

This is not what he was expecting to hear but he is definitely intrigued. “You want to be Fuck Buddies?” he murmurs, and she screws her face up.

“Never mind,” she tries to move past him, but he gets hold of her arm.

“Whoa whoa, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t go.”

She turns around and he can see she’s flushed, “I’m really attracted to you but I can’t get involved in a relationship. I have to focus on my work this semester and dating is too complicated for me right now.”

“But you still need something…” he starts.

“I _want_ something” she corrects, her voice softening, “I want you.”

He backs away and sits on his bed. “I want you too. Ever since I found you in here I can’t get you out of my head.” He rubs his face, “I’ve re-lived every second of our kiss a hundred times and it takes a lot of self-control whenever I see you not to grab you and kiss you again. Hard. For hours.”

She sits down next to him. “I know the feeling.”

“So this is all you want? Just to hook-up?”

“It’s crazy to ask you, I’m sorry – I’m going to go” she abruptly stands but he catches her hand before she gets far and tugs her back towards him.

Looking up at her he parts his legs and moves her between them, “stay.” He puts her hands on his shoulders and reaches his up to her hips.

“I know it’s asking a lot…” His fingers press into her as he guides her down to straddle his lap and she whimpers as she fits herself on to him. “Peter…” she starts but he is drifting his lips over hers and pressing his arm against her back to get her closer.

“Just physical, I got it.” He reaches up into her hair and tilts her face towards his, “like this?” he whispers as she huffs a series of small moans and adjusts herself down against his cock.

She nods as he starts to kiss her softly just the barest feather of kisses to tease them both. Without any prompting she starts to rock back and forth over his hardness and he can feel how wet she already is through his shorts.

“Fuck…” he groans, “…Covey…” she presses into him deeper and he tilts his hips up to give them more friction and she gasps and lolls her head back, exposing her neck for him to press his mouth against and let his tongue taste along the hollow of her throat.

It isn’t long before she is crying out – her face pressed into his shoulder to muffle her sounds as he comes several seconds after her and they slowly still, their bodies throbbing and clothes still on.

She’s been in his room barely 15 minutes.

* * *

Back in her room she starts to undress because her panties are drenched, her skirt is disheveled, and her body is still trembling. Peter had given her his megawatt smile and asked if she wanted to be walked back to her room, “this wasn’t a date” she said and he chuckled.

“If we’re not dating then we can skip all the courting stuff and get right to the sex.”

She shook her head with a small giggle, “so we’re on the same page, right?”

Now in her mirror she notices something smudged on the inside of her thighs and wipes her fingers over it then realizes it is mud that was on his legs from lacrosse practice and it hits her how insanely sexy what they just did was – and that she finds the fact that he got her physically dirty while doing it incredibly arousing.

“Just. Physical.” She states to her reflection in the mirror. “We are focusing on work.” She nods at herself, but her fingers are still tracing the muddy evidence of their rendezvous and her eyes look like they are already thinking about the next time they’re together.


	3. Something Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean finds herself testing boundaries in their arrangement and Peter is more than willing to help her test them.
> 
> NOTE: The final scene has what I would call verrrry mild kink involving domination and it is completely consensual and not dangerous but I don't want anyone to be upset by anything of that nature so this is a "heads up."

He comes to her room to return the container from the brownies. When she opens the door with her hair topknotted like the day they met and in adorable glasses he doesn’t say anything, but she reads his expression, “do you want to come in?” she offers, “I’m due for a study break.”

As soon as the door closes behind him he slips his arms under her ass and hoists her up as she squeals with laughter. “Those glasses are doing things to me” he murmurs between kisses, “smart girls are a big turn on of mine.”

She locks her ankles behind him and runs her fingers through his hair, “hot jocks are a big turn on of mine” she says as she starts to kiss him.

“How long is your study break?” he asks between kisses as he stumbles towards her desk where he sets her down and pens and papers slide off to the floor. He reaches for her glasses and takes them off, “I don’t want to break these because I may want to see you in nothing _but_ these later.”

She’s pulling at his shirt and when he tugs it off her mouth curls up into a wicked little grin. She runs her hands over his bare skin, her fingertips slipping along his torso and her mouth follows planting heated kisses as eager fingers press into him.

“You are so hot” she murmurs between kisses. Above her head he lets out a low chuckle and she continues, “I have never been with anyone as hot as you” her hands go to his lower back and nails dig into him and he lets out a groan.

“Oh yeah?” he asks as she nods her face against him and he can feel her tongue slipping out to lap at his skin between kisses. “You’re pretty hot…fuuuuck” he hisses as she bares her teeth at his stomach, “and _wild_, goddamn are you gonna mark me up?” She peers up and he can envision how it would look if she went down on him and it makes him swallow hard. “You can you know, I think I’d like it.” She blinks slowly and reaches up and pulls her hair loose and he exhales, “Lara Jean….”

“Mmmm? She shakes her hair out and starts to kiss his stomach again, this time her eyes staying locked on his.

“You are something else.”

She pushes herself up until she’s face to face with him and he twists her hair around his fist and brings her lips to his.

* * *

When he arrives at her door she is in a panic. “Do you have a car??” she demands as he surveys her room, books are scattered on the floor and her bed is covered in papers.

“Yeah – what’s going on?”

“You do??” she stops in front of him, “can you help me??”

“Sure – you need a ride?”

She proceeds to explain in a torrent of words how she has as deadline for her first thesis submission and she can’t find one of her books that she needs to finish it.

“Carson’s Books in town has a copy and they are holding it for me but getting down there takes at least two buses – and I have to keep writing – and I need the book and I’ve torn my room apart looking for my copy...”

“I’ll go get it.” He says and she whips around to face him.

“You’d do that?”

“Of course. What’s it called?”

She looks like she’s about to cry as she digs around for a pen and scrawls on a piece of paper and hands it to him, “this is it. You are saving my life Peter, honestly thank you so much.”

“It’s not a problem” he smiles and folds the paper and puts it in his wallet.

“Oh shit!” she gasps, “I need to give you money! I have no money on me!” she’s definitely on the verge of tears by this point.

“Covey, hey” he takes hold of her shoulders, “I’m going downtown to get your book. And I have cash. You can pay me later. Just take a deep breath” she’s still rigid under his hands, “breathe” he commands, and she does, “and focus on your paper and I’ll be back within the hour.” She nods and he leans forward and kisses her forehead. “You’re gonna get this done, it’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

He’s in the stairway almost to the first floor when he hears a door bang open a level above and turning around he sees Lara Jean running down the stairs to him. Before he can say anything, she’s thrown her arms around his neck and is kissing him so hard that he stumbles back into the wall and his hands go into her hair and around her waist.

She pulls away breathless her face flushed her lips pink, “thank you” she whispers and turns and races back up the stairs.

“You’re welcome” he watches her disappear back out the door and when she’s gone he thrusts his head back against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut mutters under his breath, “You are _so_ _fucked _Kavinsky.”

* * *

They’re on her bed when she asks, “do you ever…” she’s trying to get out a question but it’s hard when his lips hover at her neck and his fingers stroke along her stomach, “…ever want to try something…different?”

“Different?” he looks up to her face and kisses her, “different how?”

“Ummmm…” she felt a lot more confident about saying this when he showed up in her room an hour ago while she was reading, but now she feels her stomach fluttering a bit. “I’m reading this book right now for research.”

“A dirty book” he teases and nuzzles at her ear making her shiver. When she doesn’t respond he asks, “what’s it about?”

“The heroine is very in control of her life, she has a lot of responsibilities, a lot of authority” he’s propped himself up on his elbow to watch her, resting his head in his hand and she really likes this about him – how he listens to her. His attentiveness to not just her physical desires but to what she says is incredibly attractive.

She continues, “but she finds herself drawn to someone who makes her want to…give up control” Peter is watching her, his eyes intense but curious, “it was interesting to think about…I guess.”

“You guess?” He’s still running his fingers from her rib cage to the waistband of her skirt, “is that something you want?”

She inhales and nods so slightly, “I think, I think that if it was with someone you trusted it would be OK to…” her mind is trying to keep the thread but sometimes just looking at him makes her forget how to think, “…explore that.”

For a moment they just stare at each other and she’s about to shift into embarrassment mode when he murmurs, “do you trust me?”

She nods slowly “I trust you” and his eyes flicker over her body and then in one movement he’s reached for her arm and pulled it up over her head and slid himself on top of her. She makes a squeak of surprise as she feels a rush of heat through her body.

With his body weight on her he reaches for her other hand and brings it up until he has both in his grip. “Like this?” his voice is husky and she feels her heart starting to race.

“Um yeah – like that” the breathy sound of her voice is unmistakably aroused.

With one big hand he pins her wrists to the bed and then drifts his free hand down her side and over her hip to her thigh and up her skirt and she moans and shifts her hips.

“I didn’t figure you for a girl who liked being dominated” he growls.

“I’m not…I wasn’t” He’s good at this, _really_ good at this and she realizes she is having trouble keeping her body still because she likes it so much, “you made me want it.”

He drops his head and groans, “fuck, Covey…when you say things like that…” his fingers brush against her panties and she whimpers as he teases her with his touch, “why are you all wet, baby?” She moans and starts to writhe under him but he just reinforces that he’s holding her down, “you still trust me?”

“Yes,” she pants, “but I need it” her hips buck for emphasis.

He presses his thumb into the fabric that lays above her clit, “I’ll tell you what you need and I’ll give it to you when I decide you can have it.”

His words push her over the edge and she bites down on her lip as he starts to slowly push her panties to the side and slip his fingers along her wetness. Each pass she whines a little harder and he pauses for an excruciating moment before he whispers, “you’re being such a good girl – is this what you want?” in her ear before he moves his fingers into her causing her to cry out and bear down.

He whispers filthy encouragement as she rides his fingers and it shocks her just how deeply she enjoys being submissive to him. She comes so hard into his hand she thinks she sees stars for a moment. As he loosens his hold on her wrists he kisses her gently, intertwining his fingers with hers and bringing them down to rub the circulation back.

“Was that what you wanted?” he asks, his expression is slightly nervous which she finds endearing after the authoritative way he just acted.

She can’t find words with her body still tingling and her brain untangling the fact that there’s a part of her that likes giving someone else total control over her pleasure.

Not just someone. Peter.


	4. Do You Like It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean starts catching feelings for Peter and a late night visit turns into a morning after.
> 
> NOTE: NSFW!! And if you read it at work and can't get anything done after, YOU WERE WARNED!! 😉

His door is open and he’s sitting propped up on his bed. “Hey” she says and noticing his long face she comes over to him, “are you OK? What happened?”

His arm is in a sling and resting on a pile of pillows. “I hurt my shoulder in practice. Nothing major – an old injury but still hurts like hell.”

“Ohmigod can I do anything for you?”

He smiles sadly, “I don’t think I can do anything for _you_ tonight” he nods his head at his injured shoulder.

She blushes, “oh, god that’s so fine, really” she’s disappointed but she’s not going to let him see that because there’s nothing to be done about it anyway. “What can I do?”

“I’m a little hungry – I have some Oreos above my desk there and please, no judging me for eating Oreos”

She scoffs, “why would I give you a hard time about that?” she goes to retrieve them, “Oreos are awesome.”

“I thought as a goddess of baking you might find them a little disgusting”

She sits on the end of his bed and opens the bag, “you’d be wrong. My sisters and I can polish off an entire package of these in one sitting.” She holds out the tray and he grabs one and then pauses before he takes a bite.

“How do you eat yours?” he asks and she grins.

“The way you’re _supposed_ to eat them, like a sandwich made of two cookies with a slab of creamy white mystery filling in the middle” she takes a bite of the whole cookie as Peter flinches.

“Ohhh, Covey – no no no! What kind of barn were you raised in??”

She cocks an eyebrow at him, “don’t tell me…”

“You pull the cookies apart, lick the cream out and _then_ finish the cookies last” he says as he waves the Oreo around for emphasis, “_everyone_ knows this.”

“Not everyone. No Coveys eat them that way.”

“You’re killing me here Lara Jean, I may have to break off our arrangement over this.”

“I may have to break it off because the way you eat Oreos is flat out dumb.”

“Dumb?” he gasps dramatically.

“DUMB” she repeats and bites into her cookie with a smirk on her face. “You know why it’s dumb?”

“Why is that?”

“Because when you only have use of one arm,” she nods to his sling, “then how are you supposed to pull it apart and lick the cream out?”

He stares at his Oreo and then flicks his eyes back to her, “you may have a point.”

She laughs and pops the rest of hers in her mouth then moves to kneel in front of him, “give me this” she reaches her hand out.

Peter places his Oreo in her open palm and watches as she twists the cookies until they come apart and then holds out the side with the filling on it.

“That may be the most romantic thing a girl has ever done for me” he says, and she rolls her eyes.

“You need to meet more girls Kavinsky.” He’s grinning as he sticks his tongue out to swipe along the Oreo filling and she finds herself staring as he does it.

“This is turning you on” he teases as he licks again this time slower.

“It is not” she says but she’s still staring at his mouth, her eyes following the path his tongue makes.

“You’re such a bad liar” he’s smirking as he eats the cookies and licks his lips, “I know how you look when you’re turned on and you look like that right n…”

She cuts him off with a fierce kiss and a hand dug into his hair and he is taken by surprise but also completely delighted by how hard it is for her to keep her hands – and mouth – off him. He moves to wrap his arms around her and is painfully reminded why he can’t.

“OW. SHIT!” he cries and she jerks back from him and follows his eyes to the sling.

“I’m so sorry!” she exclaims, “I should go, I’m making it worse.”

“In no way are you making anything worse.”

“You need to rest that” she points to his shoulder

“Don’t worry about me.”

She’s quiet a moment, “but I do.”

He watches something flicker over her face, “you worry about me?” he asks softly, “that’s pretty cool.”

* * *

She’s a little tipsy when she reaches his room. She thinks it’s probably kind of late to be knocking on his door but her phone died so she can’t be sure of the time and somewhere in the back of her mind her sober voice is telling her to just go to her own room because things with Peter seem to be getting a bit intense, but she ignores that voice in favor of the horny one that wants to run her tongue along that vein on his shoulder that she thinks about way too much.

He takes awhile to open the door and his room is dim and he’s just in his boxer briefs with messy bed head and she feels the unmistakable thrum of desire that happens anytime she sees him because she finds him so ridiculously sexy that sometimes it makes her mad.

“Hiiiiiii” she slurs, “is it late? It’s late, right? Did I wake you? You look like you’re not awake.”

“It’s never too late for you” 

“Peeeeeeeeter” she draws out his name, “you say that stuff a lot.”

He steps back to let her enter his room, “say what stuff?”

She turns to face him, “that I’m never bothering you, that you’re always happy to see me.”

“Because you’re never bothering me and I’m always happy to see you.”

“_All_ the time?” she knows the alcohol is loosening her tongue, but she can’t stop herself.

“All the time, Covey.” He moves towards her and takes her clutch from her hand and tosses it onto his chair.

“But, like, I’m not even your girlfriend”

“Don’t I know it” he sighs as he moves his hands to her neck and then slides his fingers down to the lapels of her leather jacket and pushes it off her shoulders.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she tries to make a serious face but must fail at it because the corner of his mouth quirks up and he removes her jacket and puts it with her clutch.

“You know what it means.”

“I don’t!” she protests but he doesn’t respond. “Do you like it? What we’re doing?” she doesn’t know why she’s going in this direction but apparently the vodka in her system doesn’t care.

“Do I like it?” he murmurs as he drifts his fingertips up and down her bare arms. “Do I like touching your body?” She shivers, “do I like that I can make you react like that…” she nods, “do I like kissing you like this” he presses his lips to hers in a light kiss and before she can open her mouth he’s pulled away, “or like this” he returns to kiss her with a warm open mouth and the sensation of their tongues slipping against one another makes her moan.

“Do I like the sounds you make just for me?” his lips move from hers to her ear “do I like making you come?” She is dizzy and breathless and he grips her hips to keep her from moving into him like she’s desperate to do, “do I like how you can’t stay away from me, can’t keep your hands off me, can’t control how much you want me?”

His mouth drags down her throat and across the tops of her breasts and she is only still standing because he is holding her up. He reaches behind her and finding the zipper to her dress, he tugs it down so slowly she could cry and then as he begins to pull it off, he goes down on his knees in front of her, the dress pooling at her ankles until he lifts one foot at a time to shove the discarded dress away.

He looks up at her and his hands run along the backs of her thighs and cup her ass and she is practically vibrating. “Do I like that you wore this sexy underwear because even though you were out with girlfriends, you knew that you’d end up here, you wanted me to undress you so I would see this” he fans his hands along the lace of her panties and up to fondle her breasts running his thumbs over her nipples stiffening at his touch under the sheer fabric.

“Do I like fucking you?” he places kisses along her belly and his soft curls brush against her skin and she thinks that his seduction is a thousand times more intoxicating than anything she could ever drink. Her hands clutch at his hair and she is panting so hard the sound of it fills his quiet room.

“Peter” she manages to push out but she doesn’t even know what she wants to say and even if she did, he reaches up and cups a hand around her face, pressing his thumb to her lips as if to quiet her. The fingers of his other hand grip the front of her panties and slowly, torturously, begin pulling them down her legs and she parts her lips to suck at his thumb.

“Do I like what we’re doing?” his voice alone could make her come but then he tilts his head up to meet her eyes, even in the dim light she can see the intensity in his stare, “_I fucking love it_” and at that he frees her of her panties then blows warm breaths against her and even that slight sensation is enough to make her want to scream. When he places soft-barely-there kisses along her pubic bone she is a complete, fucking, quivering _mess_. She isn’t sure she can stand up for much longer and when she tries to tell him that, the words that come out of her mouth are just a string of expletives because he's brushing a hand up in between her legs, his fingers teasing at the wetness there.

“What are you doing to me…” she manages to heave out the words and he smirks at her as he licks his lips and raises one of her legs up to drape over his shoulder, “I’ll fall!” she gasps but he shakes his head and his hand presses against her thigh.

“Trust me, remember?” She nods, “I have been dying to know how you taste.” He sucks off his fingers and she thrusts herself towards him greedy for more as he makes a long, satisfied moan, flickering his eyes up to meet hers before he opens his mouth on to her.

* * *

After she’s done she crumples into him down to the floor and he wraps her in his arms and rubs her back as she comes down from her climax. He carries her to his bed and slips off her shoes and can’t help the grin on his face when he thinks about how it had looked to go down on her while she had a sultry black high heel pressed against his back.

“You’re so proud of yourself” she mumbles when she notices his face, “you should be…that was...words…I can’t even use words right now…I’m so…_wow_”

He laughs and lies down next to her, brushing her hair off her flushed face as she turns to look at him.

“I don’t think I can move” she whispers.

“You don’t have to. Stay here. Stay with me.”

“I don’t want to do a Walk of Shame” her voice is pouty and adorable and he loves it.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of Covey” off her attempted eye roll he adds, “where’s your key? I’ll go get your pajamas.”

“Really?”

He nods and leans in closer to her, “you’ll stay?”

Her eyes are already fluttering like she can’t stay awake, “My key is in my jacket. I literally can’t walk right now.”

He slides off the bed and searches her pocket then with keys in hand he pulls on his track pants and a t-shirt and pads downstairs.

* * *

When light starts peeking through his blinds she burrows deeper against him. He’s warm and cozy and she wants to get away from the light but mostly be closer to him. She breathes him in and he smells like cut grass and soft cotton. He took such sweet care of her – bringing back her own comfy clothes and her toiletries basket so she could brush her teeth then making sure she had a lot of water to alleviate her hangover.

But it’s what he did to her before that is still ringing in her mind and probably still reverberating through her body. The way he’d touched her and the things he’d said to her had been more than enough to drive her into a frenzy but then his full seduction as he teased her clit, moaning with pleasure at the taste of her and lapping at her – his mouth and tongue and fingers working in tandem to make her feel like she was breaking apart at the seams. She came so loudly and for so long she was surprised someone didn’t bang on the wall. Someone probably did, and she didn’t even hear it in her sex haze.

She looks up at his sleeping face – dark lashes and pillowy lips and she feels a surge of tender feelings towards him as she traces his features with her fingers, exploring the contours of his face and enjoying the scruff on his jaw. She is willing him to wake up to her touch.

“Hi there,” he murmurs as she drifts over the scar by his lip.

“What’s this from?” she asks and he chuckles.

“My favorite interrogator – I should have known you wake up asking questions.” He kisses the top of her head, “my cousin and I were sword fighting when we were kids – she won.”

“Did it hurt?” she’s still caressing it and he tilts his head into her touch.

“Yeah, it hurt and was a bloody mess. Ruined my aunt’s carpet.” She coos a sympathetic noise and lifts her head to place a kiss there. He blows out a breath and tightens his arm around her. “This is a nice way to wake up” he murmurs, and she drifts her lips from the scar to his mouth to kiss him softly.

They kiss slowly and keep it gentle and it’s as arousing as a deeper kiss because it feels so unhurried, re-building their desire at a nice easy pace. He presses her back and she pulls him down over her and wraps a leg around his hips, reaching her hand down to stroke him and the kissing takes on a new intensity as she eagerly sheds her nightgown and pushes his boxers off his hips, “I want you inside me” she purrs into his ear and in moments he’s got her panties down and a condom on and she thinks she may very well be addicted to him because no matter how much of him she has, she just craves more.


	5. Tenderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their physical relationship intensifies, so do Peter's feelings for the girl he's hooking up with.
> 
> NOTE 1: NSFW!! And if you read it at work and can't get anything done after, YOU WERE WARNED!! 😉
> 
> NOTE 2: This chapter has what I would call verrrry mild kink involving domination and it is completely consensual and not dangerous but I don't want anyone to be upset by anything of that nature so this is a "heads up."

He knocks on her door and hears her tell him to come in. Pushing it open he finds her in front of her full-length mirror with her hands in her hair. “Oh, hi – you’re not Maggie.”

“I am not Maggie” he shakes a container at her, “returning this because I ate those brownies in record time.”

He can see her grin in the mirror. “That was my first attempt with salted caramel. Any thoughts? Suggestions for next time?”

Laughing he comes further into her room, “I seriously ate them all in less than an hour and I smacked Javier for trying to take one, so my only suggestion is _please, please_ _make me more_.” She looks up to the mirror and smiles at him in their reflections. “Are you trying to fatten me up for winter?” he teases.

“I’m trying to fatten you up so I find you less attractive” she smirks and he fakes a wounded expression.

“Good luck with that, woman” he steps closer behind her, “I do conditioning five days a week, so I can eat all the brownies you got _and_ keep my abs.”

She groans, “that’s unfair – _and_ evil!” Turning around finally she takes him all in, “Wow” she says, and he likes the way her eyes travel over him, “you look great.”

He adjusts his tie and pinches the lapels of his suit jacket, “yeah, I clean up nice. You like?”

She nods slowly, “you look _really_ good” She’s got that look in her eye he knows and loves and he closes more space between them. “Do you…have a date?”

He nods slowly, “I do. Several in fact.” He watches something pass over her face and he loves how expressive she is. It’s one of his favorite things about her face next to how she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. “I’ve even seen a couple of them naked before.” Her brow furrows and she opens her mouth slowly then closes it without saying anything. He takes another step to reach her. “In the locker room – I’ve got a team dinner” he grins and watches her try to hide her exhale. “Coach makes us get suited and booted.” The corner of her mouth rises and he isn’t an idiot – it’s clear she is relieved he’s not going out with another girl and he likes that she doesn’t want him to. “What’s going on here?”

She holds out her hand and shows him a necklace, “I can’t get this on. I did my nails before and I’m afraid of chipping them on the clasp, hashtag girl problems.”

“Give it” he holds his hand out and she looks at him as she drops it into his palm. “Turn” he nods his head at the mirror and she turns back to it and he reaches around her to drop the pendant against her chest. She lifts her hair and he smells her sweet baby powder and apples scent and wants to bury his face in the nape of her neck and stay there all night. His gaze shifts to the mirror and she’s watching him, her eyes soft and her lips parted.

Closing the latch he lays the chain against her spine and lets his fingers brush at her skin. She keeps her hair up until he slides a hand to gently let it loose and he’s transfixed by the sight of her dark silky hair falling around his hands. He slips his fingers down to smooth the thin chain against her skin and flicks his eyes up to hers in the mirror. “Pretty” he murmurs and she whispers a thank you.

He hovers his body behind hers and wraps one arm around her waist, pinning her arm to her side. With the other he keeps stroking at the chain and lets his fingertips skim the hollow of her neck. They are watching each other in the mirror and it feels electric.

“Are you still reading that book?” he asks, his voice low in her ear.

“Which one?” she whispers.

He tightens his arm around her and presses her back into him and she makes a hot little gasp, “you know which one.” She nods slowly like she’s in a trance and her eyes follow his hand as he cups her throat with just the smallest bit of pressure, “what happens?” he feels her swallow against his palm and her breath is getting shallower.

“She…she gives in” she presses herself further into him and he holds her throat just a bit more. The trust she’s giving him is thrilling. He wouldn’t ever hurt her but he can’t deny he’s getting off on the fact that she’s letting him do this – that she’s getting off on it too.

“And…” he prompts and with his thumb tips her chin up, “what happens when she gives in?”

Her eyes are glassy and her pink tongue swipes over her lips, “she likes it…she…loves it. She falls in love with him.” He nods and runs his index finger over her lips and drags it to tug her bottom lip down and she blinks slowly before she dips her head and wraps her mouth around his finger tip and slowly starts to suck.

“Awww Christ” he hisses as he feels the soft wet heat of her mouth envelop his whole finger. She lifts heavy lidded eyes to his in the mirror and he smirks before he offers his middle finger and she opens her mouth and takes that in too and he feels the softness of her tongue gliding along his digits and he tilts her head so he can kiss along her neck, scraping his teeth under her ear and hearing her moan around his fingers that fill her mouth.

When he looks back up her face is flushed and he slides his fingers out and traces their wetness over her lips, “how am I supposed to get through dinner knowing how wet you are for me?” his voice is hoarse and she gasps with pleasure at his words as he turns her face so he can lean down and kiss her, her fingers going into his hair to pull him deeper into her.

“Where are you going?” he asks after he breaks the kiss, “can I see you later?”

She nods and kisses him again, “my friend is in a play – I’ll be – I can come back after.”

He turns her so they are face to face and runs his hands down her back and over her ass, “I’ll be back later then.” She nods against his mouth and he gets the sensation she’s pulling him towards her bed, “keep your panties on girl” he teases, “I promise I’ll take real good care of you later.” He gives her a little spank and she makes a squeak of surprise.

He backs away towards her door and she clears her throat, “Peter”

“Hmm?” he reaches for the doorknob and she gives him a sexy grin.

“Be wearing the suit when you come back.”

“You wanna undress me Covey?”

She squares her shoulders, “If you don’t get out of my room Kavinsky I’m going to start right now.”

* * *

The dinner takes forever and his friends want to hang out and get drunk after but he manages to make his escape and heads straight back to the dorm. As he pulls the door open and starts trotting up the stairs he almost bumps into someone and says sorry before he’s even looked up.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?”

Lara Jean is standing on the step above him with an arched brow and a hand on her hip. He grins and doesn’t think before he raises himself to her height and wraps his hand around the back of her head and gives her a kiss – a quick hello kiss. It’s only as he moves back to his step that it occurs to him that is not how they normally greet each other.

“Hi” she doesn’t even blink at the intimate greeting and just smiles, “how was dinner?”

“Fine. Rowdy. Slow. How was the play?”

“I was…distracted.” She reaches down and touches the knot of his tie, “I have plans with this really hot guy later and it made it hard to focus.”

“Am I holding you up? I don’t want you to get in trouble with this incredibly hot and I’m sure extremely handsome guy” he grins.

Her fingers shift down and she runs them along the length of the tie. He feels his whole body tensing at her touch, even through the layers of fabric.

“I might be in trouble.” She sighs and gives the tie a tug and he finds himself rising to meet her face again.

“He’s not going to punish you, is he?” he brushes his lips over her cheekbone and she presses her hand into his chest and shrugs.

“He might” her lips curl up into a wicked grin and if it wasn’t for the door opening above them and a group of people coming down the stairs he would already be pressing her against the banister making out with her.

* * *

They get inside his room and the door has barely clicked shut before they are on each other. They stumble into the darkness as she pushes his jacket off and he tugs at her scarf and throws it on the floor. They are kissing and fumbling and he bends and lifts her up as her legs wrap around him as she’s kissing all over his face, her hands digging in his back her body burning up in his arms.

He makes it to his bed and leans down to put her on it and she makes little wail of disappointment as he pulls away.

“You can’t get enough of me” he smirks as he stands between her legs. She props herself up on her elbows and runs her ankle up along the side of his leg. “Say it, Covey.” He grabs her leg and holds it while stroking her skin.

“I could say the same about you.”

Her feistiness is such a turn on for him. “You could, but we’re talking about you.” He bends down and pins her in with his arms on either side of her and she licks her lips. “Admit the only thought you’ve had all night was about how hard I was going to make you come.”

“Peter” she sounds out of breath as he kisses along her shoulder and nuzzles her neck as she makes little hiccups of pleasure, “I can’t get enough of you” she whispers in his ear. He groans and bares his teeth against her jaw and she moves her hands to his shoulders and pushes him away. “Now give me what I want.”

He is dizzy with desire for her and he sits back on his knees, “what do you want?”

She reaches for his tie and starts to pull it loose. “Undress for me.”

He chuckles, “I love how in tune we are with one another.” She grins as he reaches for his tie, “it’s like we share the same brain.” She giggles and lays on her side to watch him, her head resting in her hand, her ankles crossed with another sexy pair of heels indenting his sheets. “Or at least the same libido.” He reaches over and turns on his bedside light, “so you can see this striptease in all it’s glory” and gives her a cheesy wink.

She nods, “I like the way we think Kavinsky.” She watches him undo his tie and unbutton his shirt. He untucks it and reaches for his belt and she sits up. “That’s mine” she says in a voice that gets him even harder. She reaches for his belt buckle and unlatches it then undoes his pants, teasing the back of her hand against his erection before she rises on her knees and puts her hands on his chest. “I’m sorry” she whispers and makes a little pout.

He raises an eyebrow, “for what?”

She teases her tongue over his lips, “oh, I was late.” When he still doesn’t get it she murmurs, “so, so late to see you. Wasn’t I?”

His brain, slow functioning because of the lack of blood flow to it, finally catches up to their flirting in the stairs and he puts his hands on her hips and tightens his fingers against her. “You really shouldn’t be late. I don’t like it.”

“I know” she nods and juts her bottom lip out, “I’ve been a very bad girl.”

He slides his hands down to the hem of her dress and pulls it up until his fingers are at the top of her thighs and brushes them against the curve where her ass meets her legs making her shudder.

“No, you’re a good girl, my very good girl – who did a bad thing tonight” and he lifts his hand and delivers a quick snap of his palm on her ass and she digs her fingers into him and drops her head on his shoulder with a cry.

He pushes her hips against his, “I don’t know what you’re doing to me…” she pants as he teases his fingers at the edge of her panties, “I want you so much.”

“I’m just doing what you want…” he hovers his hand, “this is what you want, isn’t it” he spanks her again and she crumples to the bed and pulls him down on top of her wrapping her legs around him and forcing him to blindly grasp for a condom because she’s so demanding he thinks right now she would let him go without.

Before he penetrates her he pauses as she squirms with frustration. He suddenly wants to slow it all down and have it be like it was the other morning – sensual, sweet and perfect. But she is thrusting her hips up and moaning how she needs him and he starts to move into her and the now familiar feel of her heat constricting around him makes him toss out any sense other than experiencing the incredibly intimate thrill of being inside her, of being the one she wants this badly.

Only he gets to have her like this and he’ll give in to every single desire she has to keep it that way.

* * *

She lies with her cheek on his chest while he strums his fingers over her temple and into her hair. It’s so relaxing and comforting and she shifts herself to be closer to him fighting the urge to doze off – eager to make this quiet moment last.

“If I had a sexual bucket list – I’d be crossing off a _lot_ of stuff with you.” His voice rumbles under her ear and she reaches up to trace his collarbone.

“This can’t all be new to you – what we’re doing.”

“Uh, yeah it can.” He presses a kiss to her hairline, “it _is_.”

She lifts her head to look him in the eye, “a guy like you? Haven’t you had a line of girls at your door since puberty? Offering any pleasure you could ever want?”

He makes a face at her, “that is not _entirely_ accurate! Even if it was, that doesn’t mean I’m some sort of fuckboy who just racks up notches on his bedpost.”

She glances past him to the top of his bed, “you don’t even have a bedpost, Peter” she teases and he blows a breath out of the corner of his mouth and brings her head back to rest against him.

They lay quietly for a moment before she proceeds, “You’re just so good at it all – like, _so_ good. You had to get that experience somehow.”

He curls his fingers into her hair, “I’m just trying to keep up with you, wild woman.”

She scoffs, “I didn’t even lose my virginity until freshman year – second semester! It was practically the end of term! I’m an incredibly late bloomer.”

"Damn – if we’d met before now I could have seduced a virgin. That would have been so hot.” She pinches him and he yelps, “I’m kidding! Anyway, you’re the seductress in this situation.”

She buries her smile against his skin, “hardly.”

“Oh, so who jumped who first?” he taps her shoulder, “and who suggested we start hooking up?” another tap, “and who was it who wanted a little light domination? And which one of us made a drunken late night booty call in sexy underwear?" he gives her shoulder a squeeze and she giggles and covers her face.

“You make me sound like a nymphomaniac” she rolls away giggling. “It’s the romance novels! They make me curious…”

“They make you _horny_” he smirks at her and gives her nose a gentle bite.

“You’re not complaining!”

“A gorgeous woman who loves sex and wants to explore her carnal boundaries with me? There is literally _nothing_ to complain about, honestly Covey, have you never _met_ a heterosexual guy before?”

They are both laughing and she turns over to face the wall and he rests down behind her. She reaches for his arm and pulls it around her waist as he moves to spoon her.

“Good night, Peter” she whispers in the dark.

He places a long, tender kiss on her bare shoulder, “good night, Lara Jean.”


	6. Particular Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas calls it as he sees it, Peter and Lara Jean sort of go public and the clock is ticking on their friends with benefits situation.
> 
> NOTE: I think by now you know you should probably not read at work but you likely will anyway 😉

She’s just out of the shower and finishing her braids when Lucas bangs on her door.

“What are you doing?” he demands with a cocktail in his hand and a luxurious robe wrapped around him.

“I’m getting ready to read in bed.”

He rolls his eyes, “you know we’re having a party right? Our dorm – right now – downstairs – slumber party theme – you saw the flyers literally _everywhere_ in the halls this week, yes?”

She laughs, “yes, I know there’s a party. I’m not going” Lucas is aggressively swilling his cocktail and staring at her. “What?” she pats her braids and reaches for her lotion.

“Nuh uh honey” he stops her hand, “you’re coming to the party.”

“Noooo I’m not”

“Yessssss you are” he puts his drink down and pulls her up with both hands. “You’re already dressed. And your boy is there, and he is looking like something you’re gonna wanna climb and take a long, _hard_ ride on.”

She blushes, “Omigod Lu!”

“Don’t play Lil Miss Innocent with me LJ! Sneaking up there all hours coming back down sideways walkin’ with a big satisfied grin on your face like you just had the best sex of your damn life.”

She blushes, “is there a point this visit?”

He starts pulling her towards the door, “the point is your friend with all the benefits is downstairs surrounded by a whole lot of horny white girls in push-up bras and negligees who think they are competing in an episode of ‘The Bachelor’ called ‘How to Get Into Peter Kavinsky’s Pants.’”

She stills and pulls her arms from his grip, “we’re not dating, so…”

Lucas is getting visibly annoyed at her, “you may not be dating but there’s a lot more than just sex going on with you two…and don’t even try to protest because I know how you talk about him, I see how you look at him. I’ve never seen you light up in anyone’s presence the way you do when he shows up here looking like a tall tasty snack. _And_…” he holds her shoulders, “I’ve seen all the _exact same things_ from him around you.”

She tries to bite back a smile, “fine, I’ll go. But I want to change.”

Lucas grins, “Negative! You’re going like this!”

“It’s too flimsy!” she tugs at the pale pink material of her nightdress, “and short – it’s more like a slip than a dress.”

“Put on those cute Pumas and dab on a little lip gloss and let’s go win ‘The Bachelor’” he motions her towards the door.

* * *

Downstairs there is bass pumping from the speakers and lights flashing. Lucas is holding her hand as they weave through the crowd and it’s hard to find Peter in the mass of people but then it turns out they don’t need to.

“COVEY!!!!” he bellows and looking up they see him pushing towards them from the keg, “Oh hell yes! You came!” he grabs her and pulls her into a hug and he smells like beer and sweat and aftershave and it’s already doing things to her.

“Hi,” she looks up and his curly hair is going in thirty directions and he’s got a big drunk smile on his face and she reaches her hand up and tousles his hair, “are you having fun?”

He shrugs, “I’ve had some beer” he says, his voice still loud, “I’m so happy you’re here! Do you want a drink?” He’s still holding her and he looks over to Lucas, “hey man” he reaches out a hand and they do one of those boy handshakes she never understands, “was she in her room buried under books?”

Lucas darts a smug look at her before answering Peter, “not yet, but dangerously close to it. She was about to lather on body lotion and go to bed.”

Peter looks down at her and wipes his tongue over his lips and she feels a shudder go through her, “fuck, I should have come up instead – given you hand with that.”

In her ear Lucas says, “have fun and thank me later.” And gives her a peck on the cheek before disappearing back into the crowd.

Peter is then slurring in her other ear, “you wanna get out of here?”

Behind him she can see the girls Lucas was talking about and they are watching her with daggers in their eyes. They are dressed for the kill and she knows a few of them and is sure one lives near Peter and she feels a bolt of possessiveness.

She shakes her head, “I just got here. Where’s that drink you promised me?”

* * *

Peter of course knows everyone by the keg and she just nods as he introduces them all, only recognizing one named Patrick that lives on her floor. “This is Lara Jean…” he pauses, “Covey” he grins at her, mimicking the way she introduced herself when they met like it’s their own private joke. “She lives on the second floor and is writing a dual major thesis and she bakes the best damn brownies like, _ever_.” He’s holding her hand the entire time and she likes the solid grip he has on her, “she just walked into my room one day – when I came back from a shower she was just standing in my room. That’s how we met! I was just in a towel!” She’s glad his keg buddies seem like they’re too drunk to care about Peter’s enthusiastic beer fueled monologue.

“So, are you guys a thing?” one of them asks and Peter squints up at the ceiling and then looks down to her.

“Are we a thing, Covey?”

She shrugs and says, “we’re definitely something” and Peter’s grin gets wider and she realizes how much she enjoys making him happy.

As new people come up to fill their cups they move back into the crowd as he leads her towards the DJ. “Can you wait here a sec?” he yells to her over the noise. And she nods, “Don’t leave!” he adds and she shouts back that she won’t. She watches him talk to the DJ and she finally takes in his whole pajama party get-up – the form fitting white tank over his broad shoulders and the baggy drawstring sleep pants that hang off his hips just the right way. Lucas was right. She absolutely wants to climb him for a ride after they get out of here.

When he comes back he puts a hand on her hip and leans down to talk to her, “you look so fucking hot and I want you so bad and like, keeping my hands off you is gonna be hard until we go upstairs.”

She presses her hand low on his stomach and looks up at him with a sly smile, “you know how much I like when you touch me.” She can’t hear his groan in the noise of the party but she can feel the vibration of it against her palm and his other hand reaches until he’s gripping her hips and his long fingers are pressing into her ass.

He smirks at her all smug and sexy, “I love how you look so innocent but really you’re a _very naughty girl_.”

His words unravel her and she kisses him. Just rises on her tip toes and open mouth kisses him in the middle of everything and everybody. He tastes like cheap beer and she doesn’t even care because he makes her feel giddy and wild and sexy and she’s never with the hottest guy at the party and tonight she is and she doesn’t care if that makes her shallow but she wants to show him off.

“Whoa” he breathes when they break apart, “so PDAs are cool?” His eyes are glazed over with drunkenness and lust and his fingers are stroking along her lower back.

“Dance with me” she says and he breaks into a huge grin and lets her intertwine her fingers with his and lead him to the dance floor where she rings her arms around his shoulders and plays with the hair at the nape of his neck and he pulls her hips against his and his smile is wide and his moves are seductive and when the song switches he leans down and whisper-talks in her ear, “I asked him to play this for you” and juts his tongue out combined with an eyebrow raise that basically makes her feel as drunk as he is.

She recognizes the slinky first notes of the song and looks up at him and he’s got a big goofy smile on his handsome face that makes her laugh. “It’s Shawn Mendes!” he yells, “get it?”

“Yeah, I know” she laughs because he’s just so excited over it. “Is this about me?” she sways along with him and cocks an eyebrow but he just shrugs and starts singing along.

_she’s the best at get ya thinkin’ that she don’t care, knows exactly what she wants, now she’s runnin’ all her fingers right through my hair and it means that she’s got particular taste_

She shakes her head, “you know the words” she’s about to tease him about claiming he’s not a fan when he wraps her up in his arms and pulls her tight against him his breath hot in her ear, _she’s so particular, I’m so obsessed with her_ and then kisses her neck and she feels lightheaded and turned on and the song is just making it all feel more heightened and when he nips at her she scratches her nails into his shoulder and makes a sound that is luckily lost in the noise of the party.

When the DJ shifts into the next song and he untangles himself from her and she is all urgency, “let’s go upstairs.”

* * *

“I love your room” Peter sighs as he flops back on her bed, “it’s so pretty and feminine and soft. Just like you Covey.”

She snorts, “it’s also messy and cluttered and busy” she’s resting her hand on his knee to steady herself as she takes off her sneakers.

“That’s like you too” he says, his voice still at Loud Party Drunk decibels.

She climbs over his splayed legs to sit next to him on the bed, “Shhhh” she puts her finger over his lips and he gets silly lazily trying to snap at it. “You think I’m messy and cluttered and busy?”

His hand moves to her thigh, “that’s not bad! It’s not, I swear! Don’t be mad Lara Jean Covey!” He turns his head to look at her and his forehead is creased with worry.

Laughing she smooths her fingers over it, “I’m not mad. That’s just not a very sexy way to be described by the guy you’re sleeping with.”

He smiles and rolls over to face her, “you don’t think I think you’re sexy too?”

She shrugs, “I guess you’ve mentioned it” she giggles and he slides his hand higher up her leg and sighs.

“You should take the fact that I literally can’t stop touching you as a sign how hot I think you are” he states with sincerity in his eyes and she nods, “you’re like the girl in that song – you know what you want and that’s super fucking sexy. Espeshl..espechul…fuck. I’ve had too much beer to say big words” he sighs and she cracks up.

“Especially?” she prompts, and he laughs and nods.

“Yeah…that word…when you go after what you want. Like your thesis and your fellowship and…” the pronoun hangs in the air between them.

“…and you” she says softly and he nods.

“And me. You have no idea how it feels to be desired by someone as amazing as you Lara Jean. It’s like a hit off a drug how you make me feel when you want me.”

She’s quiet a moment taking in this surprising information. If anyone in this arrangement should feel special and chosen it should be her. Peter could have any single girl he wanted – the party proved that beyond a shadow of doubt as multiple sets of jealous eyes followed their exit. Yet, she’s the one that has this effect _on him_. And it’s not that she thinks she’s not worthy of him but on paper they are an unlikely pair and his revelation makes her feel giddy and powerful.

“I have some idea” she murmurs, and he drops his head back down his eyes never leaving hers. He reaches a hand towards her face and drifts his fingers over her lips.

“I also love your room because this is where we had our first kiss” he says in a voice that’s much quieter and more tender than before.

She smiles and presses her lips to kiss his fingertips, “speaking of kissing…” she moves to lay next to him turning his face to hers and leans in to put her mouth on his. He sighs into her and she shifts to align her body to his side and slips her hand under his tank to touch his skin.

“_Knows exactly what she wants_” he sings in a whisper and she knows that he requested that specific song for her not just because of the singer, but because it expressed something about how he sees her. She feels empowered by this understanding and twirls the drawstring of his pants in her fingers then gently starts to tug.

“Covey” he moans as she runs the tip of her nose along the bridge of his and dots his cheekbones with soft baby kisses, “I want to have sex with you.”

She blows out a little laugh, “that can be arranged” she pulls the drawstrings apart and he groans.

“I just…I don’t think it will be very good” she moves her hand lower, “I’m still drunk…it may be sloppy and…_fuck_…”

She feels him getting hard underneath the press of her palm, “is that so?” she murmurs as she kisses his shoulder, “I have trouble believing that Peter” she takes him in her hand and his body shudders and she smiles against his skin, baring her teeth into him, “but…we don’t have to do that…exactly” she lifts her head to face him and wets her lips before she starts to move down his torso while her fingers begin to tug his pants down.

“Oh” he breathes, “Oh…_holy shit_! Are you gonna…?”

* * *

She’s felt something shifting inside her since she met Peter. Urges she never felt before but now feels so frequently it’s like a constant pull to the third floor. She’s exposed things about herself to him that she didn’t yet know about herself. There’s been a vulnerability and a trust that are as much of a turn on as the things they are doing to each other’s bodies on a regular basis.

She glides down his body that she's slightly obsessed with and watches his dazed eyes follow her, his mouth open in some sort of excited disbelief, “Hey…” his voice is rough, “you don’t have to…you know…”

She nods as she pushes her hair over her shoulder and rubs her palm over his boxer briefs, “and what if I want to?”

He swallows and she loves watching the dip of his Adam’s apple from this view, “You know I’m all for doing whatever you want Covey.”

She gives him a slow smile, “well, I want to do this” and with that she guides his hips up so she can peel his boxers off and he throws his arm over his eyes and groans. “Very, _very_ much.”

He peeks out from under his arm, “you know you’re going to kill me, right? Like, I’m not going to survive you.”

She giggles and wraps a hand around his cock and gives him a long squeeze and a firm stroke and he gasps loudly. “You’ll survive” she purrs as she flicks her tongue slowly over his tip and his body starts to twitch under her.

And now she learns something else about herself that she didn’t know before Peter: she loves this – the sounds he makes as she goes down on him – his gasps and moans and the way his hands are grasping through her hair. She loves how she can tell he’s trying so hard not to grab or force her and that his fingers slipping over her head are almost shaking with the effort to control himself. She is in love with the way her name is coming out of his mouth like a dirty prayer he can’t stop reciting. And she loves the blissful surprise of how much _she_ _likes it_ – not just the intense intimacy or the control it gives her but the incredible sensation of feeling him inside her in a whole new way.

His hips start to buck and his hand wraps into her hair and she’s at the edge of falling deeply in love with him.

* * *

He wakes her in the morning with a kiss on the cheek, “hey, Lara Jean” he whispers as her eyes open, “sorry to wake you up.”

She squints at him crouching at the side of her bed, “what time is it?”

“7AM. I have to go and I didn’t want you to wake up and think I just took off on you.”

She wrinkles her nose, “why are you up already? Aren’t you hungover?”

“I don’t get hangovers”

Her eyes open wide, “you don’t _get hangovers_? How is that possible?”

He shrugs, “no idea but I never do. Neat trick, huh? Look, last night was umm…” she likes the smile that spreads across his face, “well, it blew my mind…among_ other things_”

She giggles and hides her face in her pillow then peers up at him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t reciprocate – I was a little – unable to function after you and your mouth were done with me.”

She turns back to face him and she knows she’s blushing. “I liked it” she whispers.

They are quiet a moment and his expression shifts and his eyes soften and she thinks he’s about to say something. “Hmm?” she touches his cheek and he opens his mouth but then shuts it, clearing his throat and shaking his head, “I have lacrosse stuff all day – a clinic we have to travel to. I may just pass out when I get back” he rises up, “I’ll see you later?”

She nods and watches him move towards her door where he stops and looks back at her. “Don’t miss me too much!” she cracks expecting him to smirk and shoot a comeback but his face just looks lost for a second and then he whispers, “I’ll try” before he opens the door and slips out.

* * *

Song: Particular Taste / Shawn Mendes (2018)


	7. Ignite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends with benefits can only last so long before someone breaks the rules.

He picks a fight with her. It’s a stupid thing to do and the timing was shitty but he’s felt so on the edge for so long now that it was bound to come out and now it’s been two days and she hasn’t come back and he hasn’t gone to see her and he’s pissed at himself for letting it get this far and he’s frustrated with her for reacting the way she did.

They’d run into each other as he was headed to a shower. She said she’d come back later but he cajoled her to come with him and she’d played coy and he flirted, and they did their usual dance and everything felt like it always did – the sexual tension always buzzing between them even when they were satisfying it.

“Get in with me” they were in the changing room and he had turned on the water and untied his robe and she giggled.

“I’m not getting in the shower with you Peter.”

“Why not? Give me a good reason.”

“Hmmm…” she’d looked up at the ceiling and held out her fingers to count her reasons, “Anyone could walk in, I’m fully dressed, I don’t have a towel, I don’t _need_ a shower…” Leaning down to kiss her he shut her up and she reached up to hold his face and when he broke away he tugged at her lower lip with his teeth just the way he knew drove her wild. The way she’d whimpered he could tell she was considering it.

Grinning at her he slipped his robe off and hung it on the hook and stepped in the shower. He loved watching her gaze over his bare body and he closed his eyes and let the water spray his face, wet his hair and then shook his head like a dog and turned to her full frontal, “Ohmigod this is not fair!” she cried trying to keep her voice low.

Reaching for her he pulled her into the shower, “get in here, Covey” and she squealed as the water hit her and he tugged the shower curtain closed. Looking down he moved her wet hair off her face and watched the water start to soak her clothes making them cling to her body. The outline of her bra becoming visible under the thin cotton of her hoodie and her jeans making a second skin.

“Jesus Christ” he murmured leaning down to kiss her, “just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier” and she put her hands to his chest and slid them up around his neck and into his hair.

“You’re crazy” she said against his lips as he bent to lift her pressing her into the wall and he moaned as she wrapped her legs around him.

He bit her lip again then kissed down her chin and up her jawbone taking another nibble this time at her earlobe, “I’m crazy about _you_.” She didn’t flinch or push away at his words so he reached between them and tugged at the zipper of her hoodie and the sound of the teeth pulling apart turned them both on. She shifted to pull it off, “tss tss tss” he warned – loving the way her bra was exposed with the open hoodie dangling from her shoulders and she stopped. “That’s my good girl” he growled, making her buck her hips hard at his words.

Sliding his free hand around her lower back he tilted her torso so he could lap at the water drizzling along her chest and down between her breasts. Her fingernails scratched into his scalp and a soft whine escaped her lips as she started rocking her hips into him and he tasted along her throat until he found the little patch of skin that he knew made her lose complete control. Winding his hand into her hair he moved her head to the side exerting some of that authority that turned her on.

He only had to swipe his tongue over the spot a few times before she was panting his name and he loved how only minutes before she was worried about being caught and now he had her writhing against him unable to keep her voice down or her words clean. When he’d teased them both enough he opened his mouth and began sucking softly at first – then relenting for a moment and hovering his lips over the tender skin. She squirmed in his grip and he tightened his hold in her hair and at her waist, “I fucking love it when you’re greedy” he hissed.

Opening his mouth on her again he used a little more vigor sealing his lips to her wet skin until he could tell from experience it was on the verge of pain and he released, making her exhale deeply while he placed soft kisses over the beautiful bruise he’d just given her, soothing the sting and feeling the tension in her body release just from that act. Letting go of her hair he cupped her face and kissed her deep and slow as she dug her nails into his back.

Then the water started to cool and his shoulders began to ache from keeping her pinned. Stepping back into the changing stall she looked beautifully aroused and he started feeling something desperate rise up in him and he swallowed hard, “You look incredible when you're wet.”

She blushed, “I don’t suppose your little seduction involved an exit strategy for how to get out of here without everyone seeing that I’m drenched?”

He chuckled and reached behind her for his robe, “I’ve always got you Lara Jean” then held the robe open behind her so she could put her arms through.

“What about you?”

He lifted his towel from the hook and ran it over his face before wrapping it around his hips. “Come to my room we’ll dry your hair.” 

“God you make me feel alive” she sighed and then rose up on her toes and gave him a light kiss not realizing her words had just lit a fuse that he’d been desperate to set a match to for months.

* * *

In his room he dug through his closet for a towel and brought it to her. She was swimming in his robe but it certainly covered up that she was wet underneath. He gently rubbed over her head and down the damp strands of her hair. She watched him quietly then rested her hands on his waist as he dabbed at her face.

“You’re sweet” she finally spoke, “I mean, I like it when you’re a little – bossy – like in there, but I like your sweet side too.”

“It’s easy to be sweet to you.” He looked her in the eyes and willed her to see it – see _him_ – see that being sweet to her was the easiest thing to do because making her happy had become the single most important thing in the world to him.

“So do you wanna…” she reached for the towel to finish squeezing her hair, “…finish what we started?” she gave him a silly exaggerated wink and his heart seized.

He took a deep breath, “Can you still not be my girlfriend?” She stilled and looked at him with surprise. “Because this isn’t just physical anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time. And I think you know that so I can’t figure out why we’re still doing this.”

“This?”

“_This_” he thrust his finger towards his bed, “_this_” at the wall where he’d gone down on her, “_this!_” he gestured at the mark he’d just made on her. “It is _not_ just sex so I want to know if you want more, because the thing is – I do. I want more. More of you, more of us.” He could see her grip on the towel tighten and she didn’t speak and he was irritated, “Say something Covey. This shouldn’t be a hard question.”

“You’re pissed at me? You agreed to all _this_” she emphasized the last word the way he had.

“I know and at the time I thought I could do it but it hasn’t been that, has it?” he controlled his instinct to move closer to her because he started to see the Lara Jean he met in her room that first time she kissed him – remote and tense and unpredictable. “We’re spending entire nights together; we’re holding hands and making out at parties; we’re there for each other when we get hurt or need a favor or want company; we see each other nearly every day for months now. And we have trust – the things we’ve been doing? Those are not things you do with someone you don’t have _deep_ trust in. I mean, none of this is how people who are just fucking behave.”

Color burned on her cheeks when she finally spoke, “isn’t this what guys want? A girl who will sleep with them and not demand any other commitment? No strings attached?”

He threw his head back in frustration and couldn’t control the rise in his voice, “not this guy! Christ! Can you not hear me? I _want_ all the strings attached. I want a relationship with you Lara Jean, just you exclusively, romantically, everything. I want to be your boyfriend.”

“But you don’t want what we’re doing now?” her eyes looked on the verge of tears and he tried to calm his breathing so he could be deliberate in his answer.

“I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting this, for wanting you. We are incredible together and I'm not even talking physically, it just always feels so _right_ being with you. Every minute we’re together I want you more than the last time and…if I’m being honest…_shit_! This is so hard to say to you” he looked at her, “if I can’t have all of you then I don’t think I can keep going because it will just break me – it will kill me that we aren’t headed to something serious.”

“Why have you been doing all this with me if you felt this way?” Her voice was high pitched and challenging.

He groaned loudly and ran his hands through his hair, “I’m doing all this with you _because_ I feel this way! Because I want to be near you and I want to be there for you all the time and I thought you felt that too but right now, right now I am starting to think I was completely off fucking base and I have to get ready, so…” he couldn’t even believe he did it but he gestured at his door – basically told her to fuck off and in that moment he hated himself, but he felt so raw and defeated he couldn’t stand to have her in his room where it all started.

* * *

By day three he’s climbing the walls.

He misses her like hell and he’s horny as fuck and the combination is making him irritable and irritating – he’s pissing his friends off, acting out in practice and blowing off his homework.

He’s a mess. A stupid lovesick mess who should have kept his mouth shut and been patient. Except – he’d _been_ patient: he had feelings for her the first time he met her and for months now as they’d grown closer and gone deeper in their sexual relationship, he had begun to believe they were on the same page – that they wanted the same thing. But as he lies in his bed starting at the ceiling for the second hour in a row, he questions whether he was just choosing what he wanted to believe was true over the actual truth.

He jumps up and his hand is on his doorknob, then on the hall door, then on the second floor hall door, then hovering at her door. He wants to bang on it and demand she talk to him and tell him if he was imagining everything – the looks, the sounds, the things she confided in him and how much she trusted him…the way she kissed him. If he was imagining what was really behind those kisses then she is the best fucking liar he ever met and he needs her to say it wasn’t real so he can put his heart back together and get on with his life. If that's even possible after Lara Jean Covey.

“Hi, Peter.” He turns and sees Kyra Warner standing there with her little button nose and big blue eyes. Kyra who he made out with at a lot of parties sophomore year. Kyra who liked to drop herself in his lap in the dining hall and snap surprise selfies that she’d post with suggestive captions making people ask him if they were dating. Kyra who is in a crop top hoodie and yoga pants with a cheerful little smirk on her face.

“Hey, Kyra. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just going to yoga. Stay flexible and all that.” Her eyes gleam and he wishes he had stayed in his room. “Are you looking for Lara Jean?”

He looks back at her door and nods, “Uh, yeah. Have you seen her?”

She nods, “Yeah, she left like, an hour ago? Hey, do you want to hang out? I can skip yoga, we should catch up! It’s been like _forever_ since we hung out!”

“Uhh…yeah, I can’t” he looks past her when the door to the stairway opens but it’s not Lara Jean coming back. “I’m supposed to be…somewhere…”

She twirls her hair around a well-manicured finger, “we used to have so much fun, didn’t we?”

They did. But he’s not going to tell her that and it doesn’t matter because it’s in the past and his heart is set on one girl only and it's not this one.

“We could have fun again…” she reaches up and ruffles his hair, “you look like you need some fun Peter.”

He snaps his head back, “Look, Kyra I’m with Lara Jean now.” He doesn’t even know if this is a lie or not, but he needs to draw a hard line and he needs to draw it fast. “So, this is not happening.”

She fixes him with a look and shrugs, “that’s too bad. I mean, your girlfriend is out with another guy tonight but, whatever.”

Peter’s blood chills and he’s about to demand to know what she’s talking about when they’re joined by Lara Jean’s friend Lucas. “Hey, Peter c’mere. I have those notes for you” he says, and Peter turns his head dumbly at him.

“Byeeee” Kyra singsongs and turns on her heel and leaves, making sure to sway her hips enough to be sure her yoga toned ass is in full view.

“Now, Kavinsky” Lucas’ voice is harsh and his hand is wrapped around his elbow pushing him down the hall.

In his room Lucas points to his bed, “you, sit.”

Peter, still reeling that Lara Jean is apparently out on a date three days after he confessed his heart to her – does as he’s told.

“What in the hell are you doing?” Lucas has his hands on his hips and a glare on his face.

“What?” Peter feels his body starting to heat with anger. “What am _I_ doing??”

“Kyra Warner? Seriously? You’d do my girl a dirty like that?”

Peter stands up, “what the fuck are you talking about?”

Lucas who is much shorter than him is nonetheless not intimidated by him in the least. “What did I just interrupt out there?”

Peter groans, “not that it’s any of your business, but Kyra was just being Kyra. She’s a flirt.”

“Lara Jean IS my business” Lucas retorts, “and that looked shady.”

“Oh, _that_ looked shady??” Peter’s voice rises, “how about what Lara Jean is doing? Who is she out with?”

Lucas makes a face at him, “who is she out with?”

“Don’t play stupid dude, it’s a bad look on you. Kyra said she left with a guy. I poured my heart out to her and she’s already on to someone else? What the fuck??”

“Wait…you poured your heart out? When?”

Peter rubs his face, “three days ago. This is killing me man, just tell me please. Is she seeing someone?” he hears the pleading in his voice and he hates it.

Lucas points at his bed again and Peter plops back down. “OK Kavinsky we’re going to start over.” He hears clinking and looks up and Lucas is pouring two big glasses of wine. He hands one to Peter, “exactly what did you tell Lara Jean three days ago?”

Peter takes a long swig and recounts their fight and as he does, Lucas’ eyes narrow. “I did not know this” he finally says. “She tells me everything, she didn’t tell me you want to have a relationship with her.”

“She tells you _everything_?” Peter is slightly alarmed at this news.

Lucas takes another sip and laughs, “don’t worry boy, I don’t know your favorite position or what kind of dirty talk turns your engine. But I do know that you two are friends with bennies and you’re both being idiots about admitting you’ve caught feelings for each other.”

The corner of Peter’s mouth goes up, “she has feelings for me?”

Lucas makes a dramatic sigh, “you are cute but you are so dumb right now.”

Peter drinks his wine and they sit silently. “I wasn’t going to hook up with Kyra Warner. I want Lara Jean. _Only_ Lara Jean.”

“Good.” Lucas pours more wine into their glasses. “Miss LJ is out with her dad. He’s in town for a conference and she’s gone to some reception and dinner with him. That’s who Kyra and her crop top saw her with.”

Peter grins so wide that Lucas groans, “oh brother, you are so gone child. Drink your wine and when she gets back we’ll pay her a little visit and clear this foolishness up. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of _both_ of you.”

“I like you” Peter puts his glass out and Lucas meets it with his. “Even if she doesn’t listen to me, she’ll definitely listen to you.”

“HA” is all Lucas says with an arch of an eyebrow.

* * *

Peter is more than a little buzzed when he leaves a passed out Lucas in his room and he knows it’s late because the hall is quiet and empty. He finds himself back outside Lara Jean’s door and he rests his head on the door frame, letting the information that Lucas shared about her feelings for him swirl around in his mind like a delicious dream.

He raises his hand to knock but instead just runs his knuckle down the door. He wants to see her so badly but he doesn’t want to do it in this state. Picking up the marker hanging on her door he pulls the cap off and writes on her whiteboard before stumbling back upstairs to sleep it off:

** _COVEY_ **


	8. Sign Your Name Across My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean comes to her senses.
> 
> ***
> 
> Woah - some of you were NOT happy with LJ last chapter so I hope this one wins you over from #TeamPeter to #TeamCovinsky!

Lucas texts her to meet him at the diner before their Comparative Lit seminar. When she asks for a raincheck she gets an all caps NO, so she makes her way to the edge of campus to meet him and finds him looking ashen and ordering off menu.

“Why are you getting your Hangover Breakfast?” she asks as she stirs sugar into her tea.

“Well, because I’m hungover Lara Jean.” She detects an edge in his voice that she passes off as the hangover.

“What did you do last night? I thought you had a FaceTime date with Alex?”

“I did. And then Peter and I got drunk in my room.”

Her eyes flicker up mid-sip and she puts her cup down, “my Peter?”

“Ohhhhh!” his tone is sarcastic, “he’s _your_ Peter now?”

“You know what I mean” she tries to backtrack but knows nothing escapes Lucas’ scrutiny especially when it comes to her love life. “Why are you getting drunk with Peter Kavinsky on a school night?”

Lucas sighs loudly and taps his fingers against the table, “I found him lurking outside your door getting all angsty when he thought you were out on a date with another guy.”

The waitress arrives with their food and she practices extreme patience until she departs to ask follow-up questions. “Why would he think that?”

“Kyra Warner was trying to lure him to her bed and she used the sighting of you with your dad as the bait.”

Lucas starts eating but she is still trying to process all this information. “She thought my dad was a college student?”

Lucas rolls his eyes, “oh for fucks sake LJ, how is that even relevant?? Peter wants to date you, Peter told you he wants to date you _four days ago_, I find out this news from Peter _last night_, which is an insult to the BFF Code btw. And you want to know if Kyra thinks Dr. Dan is in her Psychology class? Let’s focus here girl.”

She pours syrup on her French Toast and waits for him to berate her some more but he’s silently stabbing his sausages with a fork.

“I was going to tell you – I just – I had to figure out how I feel.”

“_I_ know how you feel so why is it taking _you_ so long?”

“Why are you being mean? You’re supposed to be my best friend.”

“Why are you being so stubborn and ridiculous? He likes you, he likes you _a lot_ and he straight up told you that and you got mad that he wants you and wants to be in a relationship with you? Explain your logic to me and maybe if it makes any damn sense I’ll be nicer to you.”

She sighs because as much as she hates to admit it, she needs this. She needs to be called out and made to face up to what she’s been trying not to deal with the last few days. “Fine. After he told me I sort of freaked out. It was so out of nowhere we’d just been…” Lucas waves his hands like he doesn’t want the details, “…our usual and it’s always so intense when we’re together. _So_ intense and he switched gears so fast. He makes my head spin. Ever since I met him I have not been able to think straight.”

“So tell me about Day 1” Lucas prompts and gestures to her food with his fork to encourage her to eat.

“Umm I may have stayed in my room and cried” she takes a bite of her breakfast.

“You _cried_? You don’t cry over guys you don’t give a damn about Lara Jean.”

She nods, “I know. I also couldn’t face him – running into him. I was upset and confused, and you know me, I’m a hider.”

“And what happened on Day 2?”

“I did everything I’ve been procrastinating over for weeks, tasks that I blew off so I could spend time with Peter, all the emails that needed replies and homework that isn’t even due yet. Because I’m also an avoider.”

“Day 3?”

She blows out a breath, “yesterday I missed him so much that I actually went upstairs to see him – but he wasn’t in his room and then I panicked that he hadn’t come to see me either so maybe he hated me now and I ran away and made his favorite brownies and then ate half of them by myself. Because I’m a scaredy cat who eats my feelings.”

Lucas is taking forever to chew and swallow this bite and she knows she still has more she needs to say about it. “I knew he’d been there last night because he wrote on my board. And I felt relieved, like it was a sign that the door isn’t completely closed yet.”

“Honey, the door is wide open.” Lucas’ voice is warmer now than it was before, “you should have seen that boy when he thought you had moved on to someone else. If heartbreak had a face, it was Peter K last night. And the way he talks about you? It’s _better_ than all those novels you’re always studying. You may hide and avoid and scare easily – but you’re also a romantic LJ, and you have a chance here for a huge, life-altering, world-shaking, feel it from the tips of your toes, scream it from the rooftops kind of love. It’s right there for you – he’s giving you his heart and you have to decide if you’re ready to take it and give yours in return.”

She looks away to the window and tries unsuccessfully to hold back tears. “I think I maybe have been an idiot.”

She feels Lucas’ hand on hers, “that’s not true baby girl – you’ve _definitely_ been an idiot.” She laughs and squeezes his hand, “but luckily for you, you have the wisest, sassiest, bestest friend in the universe and I’m putting my foot down with you like I did with him last night. The Fuck Buddies Era is over. Let’s be adults now and by that I mean you and Peter talk it out and get your shit together, profess your love, get married and have a squad of beautiful babies, at least one of them named after me and another one that I get naming rights to.”

She wipes her eyes and looks at him with a laugh, “I’m never letting you name a child of mine Minerva, we’ve been over this!”

“We’ll see about that when you’re all loved up and blissed out on all the incredible sex you’re having and will agree to any damn thing because you’re so grateful for my matchmaking.”

“Speaking of – you started all this you know, sending me up there to proposition him” she’s grinning when she says it and Lucas gasps in dramatic horror.

“I didn’t send you into his room in the first place young lady, you did that alllll on your own!”

“He drew me in with the poster!” she protests and they are both laughing as she declares, “so really this is all Peter’s fault!”

“Fucking Peter Kavinsky!” Lucas exclaims, “that fucking guy!”

“OMG stop!” she is crying with laughter, “he’s the worst!”

“Right? So tall and handsome and friendly and sexy! Like, what’s that about? You don’t get to be nice _and_ hot – you pick one!”

“How dare he??”

“How dare he make you fall for him?” Lucas watches her carefully as her giggles subside into soft hiccups of breath. “Because you have, haven’t you LJ.”

She knows he’s not asking her. He’s just stating a fact.

* * *

She comes back.

He’s down the hall seeing a friend and when he returns to his room she’s standing there like she was the first time he saw her – facing the poster on the wall looking beautiful with his robe draped over her arm.

“Wow, déjà vu” he mumbles and she turns and gives him a soft smile and his heart hammers in his chest.

“I thought you might want this back” she lifts her arm to show him the robe before placing it on his bed. “And I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I reacted how I did to what you said because it felt like you were rejecting me.”

He scrunches his face up, “how did you get rejection out of me telling you I want a relationship with you?”

“It felt like you were rejecting our physical relationship. I know, it sounds silly or stupid…”

“Don’t say that. Nothing you say is stupid, Covey. I want to understand.”

“It’s all been so intense – us and what happens when we’re together, you know? We had just had another incredibly charged encounter and then you flipped a switch and I get it, I do. I get now why you asked me if we could go to the next level. But your timing caught me off guard and it felt like you were saying that all these moments that I basically have been living for the last few months – didn’t mean the same things to you and I was hurt. I wanted more – more of that connection and I also, maybe, possibly panicked a little because I am a tad neurotic about romantic relationships.” She gives him a shy smile and holds something in her hand out, “I wrote this. Maybe it will explain better.”

She gives him an envelope with his name written in a pretty script and he notices her hand is trembling as she passes it to him. “What’s it say?”

“Just read it. I’ll be in my room if you want me” and she’s gone.

He drops into his chair and takes a deep breath before tearing the envelope open.

* * *

She is trying to busy herself by cleaning up her room but she isn’t having much success. Mostly she’s picking things up and walking them to another part of her room and then putting them down because she’s too distracted to accomplish anything.

It’s been nine minutes since she gave him her letter and she’s trying not to consider how it will feel if another nine minutes pass. Or another. Or 90 minutes or the whole night – without hearing back from him. She chastises herself for making him wait four days which feels cruel now that she’s on the other side. She shudders at the possibility that she has completely misread him as she walks in a circle with a pile of paperbacks in her arm looking for a place to put them. After Lucas’ breakfast intervention she felt like she’d made the right call by writing the letter but as the minutes tick by, she’s starting to doubt herself.

At the 12-minute mark there’s a knock on her door. “Hi!” she pulls it open while he is in mid-knock and a familiar grin crosses his face.

“Oh, you’re studying I can come back” he looks at the books she’s holding and his grin widens as she shakes her head vigorously.

“No! no I’m cleaning or, trying to clean. I do that when I’m anxious but I’m not really getting much done…sorry, come in.” She drops the books by the door as he steps inside her room and despite all that has happened between them she still has the same butterflies she did the first time he showed up here and she jumped him on her bed, setting everything in motion.

She turns to face him and they look at each other a moment and he says, “I read your letter” and she notices he’s holding it in his hand. “More than once, actually.”

“Oh. OK” she worries her lip with her teeth and his eyes settle on her mouth before looking back into her eyes.

“I’ve never gotten a letter like this. I hung on every word. But…”

She braces herself for his next words – _but_ she’s too late, _but_ he’s changed his mind, _but_ it really was only about sex.

“…I want to hear it. From you.” He steps towards her and hands the letter back.

“You want me to read it out loud?”

He nods, “I need to hear you say these words _to me_.”

The soft little hitch in his voice gives away the fact that he’s just as nervous as she is so she takes the letter and carefully unfolds it then clears her throat and looks at him before she starts, “Dear Peter…”

* * *

_Dear Peter,_

_When I was younger, I used to write letters to boys I had crushes on in which I would pour out my feelings about them. It was a way to get out my emotions without any complications because, you see, I never sent the letters. I just put them in a box in my closet sort of like locking away anything challenging you don’t know how to deal with or aren’t ready to face._

_But I am determined to give you this letter and for you to read it. Because even though I tried to contain this thing between us, laid down rules and put up borders, I now realize I can’t just lock it up and shove it away. Despite everything I’ve said about what we’re doing being just physical it obviously has not been and maybe it never was and I was just fooling myself._

_I think you’ve known that all along though._

_From the first moment we met I was so attracted to you but it was much more than that and it made me nervous, made me feel unsure of myself and even a little shy (I know you are laughing right now imagining a girl who proposes a “friends with benefits” arrangement is in any way “shy” but just go with it.)_

_If deconstructing a ton of romance novels has taught me anything, it’s that chemistry is undefinable – it’s electric and can be so loaded it almost feels like something tangible – because the intoxicating and powerful allure of it seeps through your skin and into your muscles and inside your heart. _

_What we have Peter, is insanely good chemistry. _

_At the start I told you we couldn’t date because I couldn’t be distracted from the work of my thesis. But an unexpected thing happened since that declaration: you’ve enhanced my work and my writing. Instead of just reading those books and theorizing about them you are letting me experience what’s written down on the pages and pages that clutter my floor in the way you touch me and seduce me, how you kiss me and see me as someone desirable, the fact that I trust you enough to experiment in ways I’ve barely let myself even think about before – and the incredibly deep level of intimacy that I experience when I’m with you – it is all coming through in my work._

_I didn’t tell you this but last week I met with my advisor for a thesis review. She was thrilled by the work I’d done, telling me it was the best she’d seen from me and loved the “exciting directions” I was moving in. She also couldn’t stop complimenting how great I looked so rosy cheeked and bright eyed and happy! All that is because of you. I thought dating you would take me away from the thing I need to be dedicated to, but the reality is you’ve made me better at it – made me understand my desires and fantasies in a way I didn’t before and its only enriched my work that I love._

_I left your room that first day we met completely exhilarated and terrified and I want to thank you for challenging me to be brave enough to let you in – to my life, my body and my heart._

_I want a relationship with you Peter, just you exclusively, romantically, everything. I want to be your girlfriend. _

_Love,  
Lara Jean_

* * *

She finishes reading and he comes over to her with a warm smile, “I’m Peter I live on the third floor and play lacrosse, and you are…?”

She grins wide, “I’m Lara Jean…” she leaves their secret pause in, “…Covey. I love Shawn Mendes and I read a lot of romance novels.”

“I have a poster of that guy in my room. You should come up and see it. How about Friday after I take you out to dinner?”

She’s beaming and nods heartily, “Yes, I’d like that!”

His face hovers over hers like he’s going to kiss her and it makes her entire body feel hot.

“I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“I can’t wait” she breathes with her eyes on his lips. He gives her a sexy smirk and plucks the letter from her hand and turns to leave, denying her a kiss. “Peter?”

“Yeah?” he turns back.

“You should know that I never sleep with a guy on a first date”

“Not even if the dinner is really expensive?”

She shakes her head and feels her flirty side roaring back, “Nope.”

“Even if he brings flowers? Holds open doors? Pays for everything?”

“I may have thrown out some of my rules for you Kavinsky, but not all of them”

He gives her a look that could easily be called “undressing her with his eyes” and growls, “you should know better than anybody Covey that rules are meant to be broken.”


	9. The Next Level

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean and Peter make it official, Peter has some surprises for his new girlfriend and Lara Jean keeps up her rule breaking streak.
> 
> NOTE: I kind of can't get over the response to this story - I have 20+ fics in this fandom and in a month this one has gone into the TOP 3 of my hits! It's WILD! I'm having some mixed emotions about it ending tbh because I'm feeling like I might not be able to top it.
> 
> The pressure is definitely on for my current WIPs that's for sure!
> 
> I can't thank everyone enough for loving it so much. Thank you for reading, for commenting, for your compliments and your frustrations, for following me on Tumblr and sending me notes there. This fandom is the best - supportive and receptive, clever and friendly and I just appreciate you all and your smut loving hearts so much! 🧡

He’s at her door promptly at 7PM on Friday holding a delicate spray of mini roses that he hands her with a chaste kiss on the cheek. She wants to cry he looks so handsome in his cozy grey sweater and smells so delicious she’s half a mind to just drag him over to her bed.

But she’s feeling herself in the slinky wrap dress Lucas insisted she wear and her favorite boots that bring her up to Peter’s shoulders and he holds out her coat for her to slip into and murmurs in her ear, “You look incredible. I can’t wait to show you off” and it makes her smile because she’s thinking the same thing about him.

Outside the dorm he leads her to his Jeep and chuckles, his breath making steam in the chilly winter air. “You know what’s wild?” he asks, and she shakes her head, “this is the first time we’ve ever been outside of the building together.”

She wrinkles her nose, “that can’t be true…is it?” And he nods, “wow, we need to get out more.”

At the car he opens the passenger door and holds her hand to help her in then impulsively kisses the back of it and she giggles because no boy has ever done that to her before and it’s as charming as she always imagined it would be. As he comes around to the driver’s side, she takes the moment alone to appreciate the fluttering excitement rising through her whole body It’s barely been 15 minutes and it’s already the best date she’s ever had.

He takes her to the nicest sushi restaurant in town and they sit close together in a booth warmed by candlelight and she asks him a hundred questions about his life and he laughs between answers because she’s his favorite interrogator after all, and because he loves her curiosity and how the wine is making her cheeks flush and because he’s so enchanted he’d answer a thousand questions a day if she asked him.

Wine makes her feel bold and she thinks this is maybe the longest they’ve gone without getting physical and it’s too long so she rests her elbow on the back of the booth and brushes her fingertips over the shell of his ear and into the dark soft curls of his hair and he closes his eyes for a second and makes a happy little humming noise so she leans over and whispers, “I can’t wait to be alone with you.”

His eyes open and he turns his face towards her and takes her wrist in his hand, placing a kiss on the inside of it. “You can’t even behave yourself for an hour in a restaurant?” his voice is low and teasing.

“Not around you” she breathes and moves to kiss him and he catches her chin in his fingers and gives her a wicked grin.

“Seems I’ve created a monster” he says as she nods and slides her other hand onto his thigh making him exhale sharply. “As much as I am loving this very public seduction – there’s still more to our evening” he holds both her hands inside his, “and it’s our first date we can take it slow.”

She gives him a pout and his eyes drop to her mouth and he groans softly, “you’re trying to get me to bite that lip, aren’t you?” she murmurs in agreement, “it’s tempting – but I’m a gentleman on a first date, Covey. And you don’t put out on first dates, remember?”

* * *

They go back to campus and Peter says, “take me on a tour.”

“A tour?” she looks at him quizzically, “of what? You go here.”

“A Lara Jean Covey Tour” he smiles, “show me where you like to go, where you’ve lived, where you hang out. I wanna see the campus the way you do”

“I love that!”

“Great because when we’re done with your tour, I’ll take you on mine. Sound good?”

She nods and holds out her hand, “I have space for one on this tour, sir”

He takes her hand and chuckles, “Exclusive, nice. I like it!”

Hand in hand she takes him towards the art museum and points out the window to the room where her favorite painting is displayed and promises to take him to see it when it’s open. In the botanical garden she shows him the sunken garden where she likes to go and read when spring arrives. There’s the parking lot where the Korean food truck parks on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the balcony in the campus center where she can best observe when the fresh cookies are put out in the snack bar, and the basement game room of her sophomore year dorm where she learned she was a little too competitive about ping pong.

“Any questions?” she offers when she’s done and he grins.

“Oh, I get to ask a question? This is new!”

She pokes him in the chest, “if it wasn’t for me asking you questions, we wouldn’t be on this date so no complaining!”

He laughs and wraps his arms around her, “that is correct, and I am forever grateful for your willingness to walk into a stranger’s room and start cross examining the first person who entered.”

She giggles and rests her arms against his chest, “so, what about the Peter Kavinsky Tour?”

“You mean the Peter Kavinsky _Experience_?” he wiggles his eyebrows and loves her bright laugh.

“Oh brother, am I ready for this?”

“You’ll never be ready for this Covey” he winks and taking her hand again he tugs her along with him. They start at the roof of the science building that has the best view of the sunrise and he shows her the tree by the playing fields where he likes to lay in the shade after a hot practice; there’s the jungle gym at the campus day care that he of course climbs on top of to dangle his long legs down between the bars while she snaps photos of him. Then the gym where he spends all that time conditioning and his final stop is the library.

“Isn’t it closed?” she asks as he leads her up the stairs and pushes the door open.

“Nope. Just no one goes to the library on a Friday night unless it’s finals.” He nods to the sleepy looking student at the circulation desk and guides her through the door and down a few flights of stairs. At the bottom he turns to her and says, “you trust me, right?”

Her eyes widen, “yessss but – why are you asking? What are we doing?” He just grins at her and reaches for her coat to unbutton the top buttons. “Peter?”

“You gotta trust” he reminds her so she peers down as his fingers work her buttons apart and they come back up and start to unwrap her scarf from her neck. His eyes lock with hers as he slides it into his hands and she feels her breath starting to quicken because she’s not sure where this is headed but she’s getting excited about finding out.

He steps behind her and brings the scarf over her eyes and she makes a little noise of surprise. He pulls it into a knot and whispers, “is that OK, not too tight?”

“Not too tight.” She touches the fabric on her face.

“And you can’t see?”

“I can’t – you’re not going to make me move, are you?”

“I’ll take you. I’ve always got you Lara Jean.”

She shivers at the memory of him saying that when they’d been in the shower and she licks her lips and puts her hands out “I’m ready.”

He blows out a low whistle, “that’s my good girl” and she is filled with arousal at his words, the raspy timbre of his voice, the romantic evening and the mystery that has her blindfolded and willing to let him take her anywhere.

His hands are warm and he guides her quietly warning where there’s a table and to watch her step when there’s a bump under the carpet. After a few minutes he stops and releases her hands, “don’t peek” he warns.

“I’m not.” She hears some thumps and then feels him move behind her and he strokes her hair and murmurs in her ear.

“You wanna try this sometime?” he gives the end of her scarf a little pull and she leans her head back and turns her face towards his and lets her lips graze at his jawline.

“Yes, please.”

“I swear you’re gonna be the death of me Covey” he growls and then unties the knot and the scarf falls away from her eyes.

She gasps and covers her mouth, “ohmigod! What… is this for me?” In front of her is a study carrel and there’s no mistaking it is for her – there’s a string of tiny white lights draped over the top like the ones she has over her bed; on the shelf above the desk are a stack of well-worn bodice rippers displaying titles like “Passions Flame” and “Her Blazing Heart” and a notebook next to a cup full of pens and pencils. And right in the center of the bulletin board a picture of Shawn Mendes is pinned up.

“So this is your special quiet Peter-free study space” he starts. “The books are from the used bookstore in town. They’re like six for a dollar so – just in case you need them…for _research_. And since you had a Fangirl Fail having no Mendes on your wall _or_ your bedsheets, you clearly needed to have him here. He’s kinda our cupid, after all.”

She starts to tear up. “You did all this for me” she states.

He nods and turns her towards him “you’ve been clear from the start that your work needs to come first and I get that and I respect it. I can’t wait to be the one cheering the loudest when you walk across that stage at Commencement to receive your degree with highest honors.” She chokes down a happy sniffle, “so when I’m driving you crazy wanting your attention or distracting you with my _amazing_ sexual skills” he bites on his tongue and raises his eyebrows and she laughs through her tears, “then you are going to come down here to get away from my annoying ass and you’ve got the little lights and can leave your stuff here and Mendes will keep an eye on you. Sound good?”

She nods her head and throws her hands around his neck, “can I _please_ kiss you now?”

“You better” he smirks as she pulls his head down to meet her lips and it’s sweet but intense and when he breaks away she growls and pulls him back as his arms go inside her coat and around her waist, one hand pressing into her back and the other sliding to grab hold of her ass. “This dress has been killing me all night” he murmurs at her ear as he drags his mouth down her jaw and along her neck, “your body is so sick.”

She moves backwards and pulls him along with her until reaching behind her, she pushes the chair away from the carrel and slides herself to sit on the desk, reeling him in between her legs. “I’ve changed my mind” she purrs as she wanders her hands up underneath his sweater and looks up at him with hungry eyes.

“About?” he breathes as he watches her.

“Sex on the first date” she runs her hands along the bare skin of his stomach and down over his belt to his groin and he moans under her touch. “I think we should definitely end this date in bed.”

He thrusts his hips towards her and she lifts a leg to wrap around his waist and pin him to her, “it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind” he says as he slips a hand behind her neck and tilts her face up towards him. Brushing his lips over hers he feels her eager breath as he orders, “gimme that pretty lip.”

She opens her mouth and he kisses her lightly then runs his tongue along the ridge of her lips before sucking on the bottom one and teasing her with grazes of his teeth. They get more frenzied and less aware of their surroundings until there’s the sound of a door opening and closing somewhere on the floor and they still and rest their foreheads together panting in unison.

“If we don’t get out of here we’re going to have a problem” he whispers realizing his hand is up her dress, her jacket is half off, his belt is undone, and she’s done a number on his hair.

“Your place or mine?” she murmurs and starts to re-fasten his belt, slide her leg off him and adjust her dress.

“Yours. It’s one less set of stairs to climb so we can be naked faster” he grabs her face and kisses her quickly, “I’m happy, really, really happy.”

She gives him a big smile, “me too. I’m going to be a good girlfriend, I promise.”

He slides her off the desk and wraps her scarf back around her neck, “I hope that means more brownies.”

“_So_ many brownies! And pie, I make damn good pie” she looks at her carrel once more as Peter unplugs the lights. “I love this so much, you’re the best boyfriend ever and it’s only the first night!”

“I’ve been trying to tell you that for months” he exaggerates an eye roll at her and she grabs his hand and lets him lead her back the way they came.

“I hope you made me a map so I can find my way back here. I can’t wait to dig into ‘The Pirate’s Desire’” she giggles, naming one of the books he got her.

“Listen, Mary the 72-year-old browsing the romance aisle at the bookstore highly recommended that one!”

“I’m sure she did!” she giggles. When they finally reach the lobby the student at the desk is asleep and they quietly head into the night.

* * *

On the walk home Peter puts his arm around her and she snuggles up next to him. “I’m reading something new” she says.

“What’s going on in this one?”

She sighs, “the heroine is the one who takes control of things in the bedroom.”

“Does she?” he squeezes her closer.

“Mmm hmmm. And he’s into it.”

“I bet he is” Peter murmurs and kissing the top of her head he adds, “I know I would be.”

“You would?”

They reach their dorm and Peter swipes his ID and holds open the door for her, “a beautiful and accomplished woman who knows what turns her on wants to have her way with me? _Yes, ma’am_.”

They climb the stairs and pass by drunk neighbors stumbling around in various states of inebriated fighting and hook up attempts. Once inside her room they shed their coats and she turns on the twinkling lights over her bed and lights a candle on her dresser. “Come here” she beckons him over and when he reaches her she looks up at him, “are you nervous?” she whispers.

“A little? This is big Lara Jean, I know what we’ve been doing has been more than just hooking up but this is – we’re both invested now, we’re finally on the same page.”

She nods and starts to lift his sweater off him to dot kisses along his chest and over his collarbone. She remembers when they met how she could not stop thinking about doing exactly this to him. She guides his hands to the tie around her waist, “undress me” she instructs, and he licks his lips and plays with the ends of the tie, “don’t be a tease, Kavinsky” she scolds with affection.

“Yes. _Ma’am_.” He gives the tie a sharp tug and her dress starts to fall open.

She rolls her shoulders until it’s half off her and he’s all over her, lifting her to lay her onto the bed as they furiously try to finish undressing each other.

“I don’t ever say this on a first date” he pants at her, “but I’m crazy in love with you.”

She sinks him against her and holds his face making sure he can see the sincerity in her eyes, “I am so in love with you Peter, and I’m going to take such amazing care of your beautiful heart.”


	10. Insanely Good Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean and Peter are finally happily together and still incredibly hot for one another.
> 
> NOTE: This has been an amazing experience and I thank everyone for subscribing, reading, giving kudos and commenting and extra special thank you to the core group of commenters who have honestly MADE MY DAY for at least nine days (so far!) over the past month. I've loved every word you've shared with me about how you felt about this story (yes, even the yelling and scolding!) and what more you'd like to read about.
> 
> So while this particular part of the story is coming to an end -- I've had many thoughts spring up from reading your comments and you've given me a lot of ideas so please bear with me for a bit as I figure out how to continue this in some way - either a couple of "epilogues", or an "extended cut" that will give us all a little more of these two and their au. 
> 
> Sound good? Thank you again so much for loving this one as much as I do. I can't express how much you've inspired and entertained me 🧡🧡

She hits save and snaps her laptop shut. Grabbing her phone she texts her boyfriend and stretches out her sore back that’s been hunched over her desk all night long.

_come here_

Getting up she puts away the novel she was working with and loosens her hair from the messy bun that’s been held together with a pencil.

_I’m gaming with Javi. 20 OK?_

She smiles as she types her response and starts to change into her nightgown.

_right now, love_

* * *

“Hit pause dude, I gotta go.” Peter drops his controller and slips his phone into his pocket.

“Aww man, c’mon! We’re about to blow shit up!” Javier groans.

“My girl wants me. I’ll be back tomorrow to finish.” He stands up and winces as he realizes he has not moved his legs in far too long. “Yo, I said pause it” he leans down and smacks his friend’s hand that is still moving over his controller.

“That girl has you whipped, you know that, right?” Javier says as he pauses and looks up at Peter.

“Well, that’s some bullshit” Peter says with a grin, “first off, don’t be sexist. Second of all, have you seen my girlfriend? She’s hot as hell and if you had a girl that fine, you’d come running if she called so don’t even.”

Javier looks up at him with an eye roll. “Go get laid, get out of my sight.”

“You know I’m right” Peter teases as he backs towards the door mouthing, “_so hot_.”

“You suck Kavinsky!” Javier yells. Peter turns to leave and flashes him a middle finger on his way out.

“I mean that with love, Javi!”

* * *

She lets him knock more than once before she answers.

“Hey you…” he starts but she holds her finger up to her lips to show she wants quiet and he pauses. “Are you…” he starts but she keeps her finger in place and shakes her head. She moves so he can come into the room. She has just the fairy lights over her bed on and her white noise app is playing ocean wave sounds. He looks around and grins as he reaches for her but she steps back and his face shifts into a pout.

“On our first date I told you about the book I was reading where the heroine of the story was in control of her sexual relationship. You said you would be into that.” She steps closer to him and runs her hands over his chest and up to drape around his neck, “I just finished the book. And now I’m going to test if you meant it.”

His lips curl up into a grin and he nods his head as she plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. “To start, you’re going to be quiet until I say you can talk. That means no sounds either, even when we’re…” she tips her head to her bed and his eyes follow and widen.

“Wait, wha…” he begins but snaps his mouth shut and she laughs softly, “good boy” she coos and his eyes go dark with desire as she pushes away from him. “Now, you’re wearing too many clothes you need do something about that.”

He reaches back and pulls his sweatshirt off and puts it over her chair. Her eyes lower and he slips his hands around his waistband and then steps out of his shorts so he’s only in his boxer briefs. He tugs at the waistband of them and she shakes her head, “those are mine.” She points to her bed and he obediently goes over and waits for her to tell him to sit down. “Ooooh I like a fast learner” she murmurs. She follows him to the bed and puts her hands on his shoulders and pushes him down until he sits.

He reaches out to pull her against him and she steps back and he groans, “Who's the boss, Peter?” she smirks and he points his finger at her. She moves close to him again and scratches his head leaning her face down to kiss his forehead, “you can touch me now.”

Peter grabs her and snakes his hands around to her back and clutches at her like he’s desperate. She moves him back to lie on her bed and she climbs on top to straddle him and he blows out a breath and drops his head back so she can just see the outline of his jaw as she starts to caress over his chest and stomach, letting her fingers drop to his sides and tease at the ticklish spot over his right hip. He squirms and stifles a laugh and she loves making him move like that. She teases him a little longer until she can see he’s struggling not to burst out laughing and she relents.

“God, you’re so cute” she sighs and presses herself down against him, “I love you so much, you know that?” she whispers in his ear and he nods his head, “tell me” she instructs.

“I know. I love you too” his voice is low and she moves her face so she can kiss him, her hands cupping his cheeks and her legs pinned to his sides. He makes a humming noise that he only does when he’s aroused and she kisses him deeper and he grabs her ass with one hand and pulls her thigh tighter against his with the other. They are wrapped up in each other but only a few minutes later he goes still and drops his head back and takes his hands off her.

“What?” her eyes snap open, “why did you stop??”

He just gives her smirk, his hands raised above his head like a hold-up and lips sealed shut. She growls, “I’m in charge. You can’t stop until I tell you to.” He shrugs his shoulders and makes a face like he’s helpless to do anything about it. “I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?” She sits up and lifts her nightgown off to toss on her bed and gloats about the look on his face when he realizes she’s not wearing anything underneath it.

“Are you going to behave?” she asks and he nods furiously and bites his lip. He is trying so hard to follow her orders and it’s completely endearing. She suddenly doesn’t want to be the boss anymore, she just wants to cuddle him and cover him with kisses, fall asleep on his chest as his fingers brush over her bare shoulders and his heartbeat calms against her ear. “The answer to that is always no, Peter.” She gives him a sly smile and he makes a strangled noise and curls his fingers into her comforter.

She slowly drapes herself back down against him, skin on skin and he exhales a shuddering breath as she brings her face to his. “If we behaved ourselves, we wouldn’t be here now, would we?” he shakes his head and she kisses him softly all around his mouth because when he does it to her she loses her mind. “What fun would that be?” she tastes his lips with her tongue and she can feel his whole body rigid beneath hers trying to keep control of himself. She can only tease him a little longer before she whispers in his ear, “can I ask you a question?”

His mouth curls into a laugh and he nods as his chest rises and falls with heated breaths underneath her, “what do you want to do to me, Peter? And please be specific with your actions _and_ words” she’s barely finished her sentence before he’s got a hand clutching the back of her head and pulling her into a deep kiss as the other snakes around her waist.

She starts giggling, “remember, there are no wrong answers!” He growls as he spins her onto her back and rises up above her, “every answer is equally…aahh!” she is squirming as he starts attacking her with silly kisses, “…weighted and will be considered for your final graaaaade! Peter!” they are both laughing hard as he maneuvers her up to the head of her bed and then drops down to lay next to her.

“Why are you like this?” he grins as he runs his fingertips over her collar bone and kisses her shoulder.

“Like what?” she turns on her side to curl into him.

“Perfect…adorable…sexy…curious…funny…gorgeous…smart…wicked” he punctuates each word with a kiss to another part of her skin and she shivers as he starts to caress her back.

“The better question is how did you get so lucky” she teases and squeals as he gives her a little spank.

“That _is_ the better question” he mumbles into her hair, “apparently my trick of setting traps for pretty girls by leaving my door open with Shawn Mendes bait works after all.”

She looks up at him and smiles, “it _is_ pretty effective. Just don’t ever try it again.”

He rolls onto his back and pulls her on top of him then draws her lips back down to his own, “never, ever, ever” he places kisses all over her face, “I’m taking the poster down now that I have you.”

“Mmmm…good” she hums as their lips meet and bodies start moving back together. “Can I have the poster then?”

“Alright” he roars and rises up with a grin on his face, “that’s it, you’re mine Covey, you’re gonna pay for that!” he starts to tickle her as she tries to squirm away from his fingers, “yeah, you’re gonna pay for tickling me too!”

She’s squealing and begging him to stop, “this is not fair!” she cries, “I’m naked – I have no defenses!”

He licks his lips, “oh you want an even playing field? OK then” and tugs off his boxer briefs and throws them next to her discarded nightgown. “Better?”

She quiets down and nods her head, “_much_ better” and just like that the mood in the room shifts and they are all over each other and when she coos in his ear, “give me what I want” he is thrilled to oblige her.

“_Yes, ma’am_.”

**Author's Note:**

> _is it wrong of me to not want half?_  
_i want all of you_  
_all the strings attached_  
\- Title: If I Can't Have You / Shawn Mendes (2019)
> 
>   
Some of the comments on Chapter 3 were the greatest comments I've ever had for any fic I've posted here so THANK YOU for your dedication, your passion, your open minds and your wonderful words. The fact that so many of you are yelling/scolding/all capsing/flat out DEMANDING I post the entire thing immediately is seriously the greatest compliment EVER (but you still have to wait 😘) 🧡🧡🧡
> 
> WHOA! You sure answered my question about whether the fandom still wanted new Covinsky fic! Thank you for all the hits and comments and re-blogs! I'm so excited to deliver this story, it's a fun one.
> 
> A few months ago I made a Tumblr and re-blogged a post mentioning how in college I met one of my best friends when I found her in my room admiring a poster I had on my wall. 
> 
> Reader [so-romantical](https://so-romantical.tumblr.com//) messaged me suggesting I do a Covinsky fic with this "meet cute" premise and here we are! 
> 
> New chapters will be posted on Mondays and Fridays.
> 
> [I made a “cover” for Tumblr](https://queenie-004.tumblr.com/post/186643113513/new-fic-is-up-all-the-strings-attached-lara-jean/)
> 
> Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!
> 
> [I'm finally on Tumblr!](https://queenie-004.tumblr.com/)


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